Microwave Cheesecake and Recovering from Recovery Blogs

by Eden on August 10, 2011

Its not a new phenomenon that some “health” and “food” blogs are linked to eating disorders. But the thing is, there are lots of “recovery” blogs.

So this is a bit of a continuation of this post.

People hope they will find a virtual community online to help support their recovery efforts. While it’s great that you would want to recover, I have a few grievances I’d like to share about trying to blog your whole way through recovery:

You Might Be a Hypocrite: I’ll sometimes read a “recovery blog” and they’ll be snapping pictures of all this glorious food they’ll claim to eat. Followed by a long rant about how much they hate eating disorders, flaunting their “rest days” from exercise, and talking about how wonderful cake is. But often times, all these “look-at-me-I’m-so-recovered” examples hide a still-very-much emaciated person and tortured soul. Actions speak louder than words. I don’t need to see a picture of cake you ate, cause until chest bone stops protruding, I won’t believe you.

Compare and Contrast: As blog readers, we all compare. The horrible thing about “recovery” blogs is that if someone is struggling, comparing hinders progress.

Wow, she’s sooooo much more recovered than me, she got her peroid! Ugh, whatever. She’s fat now! I hope she bleeds on a white couch!

Because comparing leads to jealousy, jealousy leads to anger, and anger leads to the ”dark side” (take that yoda!). My point is, comparing can be detrimental to this whole recovery thing.

Whine and Dine: As Sophia explained, recovery can be hard. When I was in treatment, I was rather bitter and whiny. If recovery were easy, US Weekly would be out of a lot of material.  Luckily, I had a therapist that soaked all my whines right up so no one had to put up with it.But if you use your blog as a whines-piration board, don’t expect people to start virtually comforting you. Get a therapist or a hairdresser.

Your Ego Will Be Shot: When you put anything on the interenet, its pretty much fair game for anyone to knock you down.

Eden, your blog is so lame! Do you think you’re funny?! Do you think you’ll get lots of readers if you write posts about farts and poop?! You bash all these “popular” health bloggers all the time, when I think you secretly want to be them, don’t you!?

 Ok, you caught me. I DO secretly want to run 10 marathons a week and eat protein chia seed oatmeal shake. Who doesn’t? But seriously, if you are trying to recover, you’ll be emotionally vulnerable. Someone will read your blog, tell you that you’re grossly emaciated, and you’ll cry hoping that crying will burn off those few calories you ingested through your black coffee. (PS, why the fuck are you drinking black coffee if you need to gain weight!)


Dont get me wrong. Everyone has the right to blog about whatever shit they want. Their, kids, pets, bowel movements…I dont care. But its not a therapist and it can’t save you.

Your best bet? Eat cake, don’t tell me about it, and get a hairdresser (way cheaper than a therapist)

Do you think “recovery blogs” might actually do more harm than good? What are your peeves about them? Do you think there is a “healthy way” to blog about your recovery while you go through with it?

Wow, its been forever since I did a recipe, huh? Well, this is another recipe inspired by my trusty pal, Deb. Also inspired by my laziness and by me not trusting myself to a whole cake.

2 tbs cream cheese, softened to room temperature
1/2 cup greek yogurt or sour cream
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons sugar/ sweetener of choice
2 tablespoons egg white, slightly beaten (egg whites in a carton work fine)
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon cornstarch (this is important! prevents liquid from forming)

For “mix ins”, you can add whatever you like, I swirled 1 tablespoon jam and topped it with cookie crumbs (it gets soggy if you but it on the bottom of the mug.

In a 1 cup or larger microwave proof mug, beat the cream cheese until light and fluffy with a small whisk. Mix in the sour cream, vanilla, sugar, egg, lemon juice and cornstarch. Whisk about 2 minutes until light. This is easier if you mix it in small bowl with a hand held electric mixer and then pour into the mug. Add any “mix-ins”.Microwave on medium for 2 about 2 min (it may take more or less, check it often). You want the center to just start to bubble, and then stop cooking. Take out of the microwave and let cool to room temperature and then refrigerate until fully chilled, about 1 1/2-2 hours. If any liquid has formed, carefully pour out. Sprinkle with graham cracker mixture and top with any topping of your choice.

Enter Your Mail Address

{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }

Kari @ bite-sized thoughts August 10, 2011 at 6:34 am

You know, I’m not sure there is a healthy way. I sometimes think it might be better if people kept an old-fashioned diary if they wanted to write their recovery tales…and then edit and share when they’re actually healthy, if they still want to. I’m pretty sure that’s not going to be a popular stance though!


Eden August 10, 2011 at 6:40 am

I think where there is a will, there is a way. if you really want to recover, you can do it. Get a therapist, have good friends, to support you, and yea, a real diary will do to ;)


Alison August 10, 2011 at 6:47 am

Is there such a thing as “recovered” or is it a battle or struggle of some sort everyday from here on out? I have a therapist and a private blog, and I still want to know.


Eden August 10, 2011 at 6:51 am

Its hard to tell. I don’t think I’m “recovered”. “Recovered” is kind of a vague term and its no straight line. there are ups and downs, but I do believe it can get better. I call my eating disorder in “remission”.


Alison August 10, 2011 at 6:58 am

Thank you for your honesty.


Eden August 10, 2011 at 7:18 am

No need to thank me, thank you for feeling comfortable to open up about this.


sophia August 10, 2011 at 8:47 am

I really would at least like to believe that complete recovery is possible. Personally, I want to have the best possible goal to reach for, and not have the goal to be “semi-recovered and functional.” I won’t be the same innocent person who knows nothing about calories, but I believe it’s possible to get rid of all anxiety, worries, obsessions, etc.

I think there will always be moments when there’s just a sudden flash of disordered thought, but just because you think it for a few moments doesn’t mean you must be it.

Like Eden, I also don’t like to determine myself or anyone else as “recovered” though. That will need time and you can’t just tell from a blog. But I don’t think it’s anybody’s place to observe someone and judge whether that person is recovered or not because you never know what’s going on behind that person’s head. I’d rather focus on my own issues, and let the other person judge themselves. That is, unless the person is spewing blatantly pro-ana shit, then I want to beat the crap out of him/her.


Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) August 11, 2011 at 3:19 pm

I read that New York Times article that you (Sophia) linked in one of your ED posts. I found it interesting. It definitely gave the impression that it’s rare for people to be recovered and that it is a lifelong maintenance like managing diabetes = ie one is never actually ‘cured’. Although I’ve never had an ED, I am ridiculously focused on my weight and keeping it in a place that makes me happy. When I was fat I was miserable with ‘me’. When I was thinner than this I was miserable b/c I was starving and cold. Now I’m miserable (often) trying to stay in a good weight range without obsessing over calorie counting. Does it ever really end?


Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) August 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

By the way, I’m not as focused on ‘my weight’ as I am being a size that I am happy with (and I don’t mean a number- I just mean how I feel when I’m slimmer)


Charlotte Rose August 10, 2011 at 7:25 am

Although I have never blogged while I was in the recovery process and only started to when I felt I had reach a point where my disorder was in “remission” (good term Eden), I have witnessed countless healthy eating bloggers take a break from blogging to work on recovering since they can’t recover while being monitored my 5 bajillion people (estimate only). Im sure it can be done and that blogging about the recovery processes helps some people, but I have yet to see that truly happen.


sophia August 10, 2011 at 8:37 am

Blogging helped me. A lot. It wasn’t the only thing that helped me, but it was one of many things.

I started out with the trying to blog about everything I ate blog but it just never worked for me. I don’t think I got in a full day’s eats post once? I don’t remember, and I don’t feel like going back to check. My posts back then make me cringe. It was just annoying and stressful.

Blogging helped me because I loved writing about challenges that I made to myself. I wanted to challenge myself on eating and conquering fear foods, and writing about it, and sharing it, even though I had like 4 readers at the time, really helped me process it out. Instead of harboring it in me and letting it stew in its anxiety, I wrote about it as if it was a great thing, a wonderful defeat, and that just gave me excitement and encouragement to try to challenge myself more.

I didn’t want to share it with my immediate friends because it’s embarrassing to call them up and say, “OMG! I ate WHITE PASTA!!!!! Clap me on the back!” But I could do that to a faceless screen, and just boast. It felt good to boast about myself for once, after hating and condemning myself for so long. It built up my self confidence and self esteem.

I don’t exactly remember, but I did record down failures here and there, too. It was a bit embarrassing to admit it out loud, but it did give me the extra push to try better next time. If I didn’t share it out loud, I probably would have less of a commitment to stay true to my recovery. But I just didn’t groan on and on about it. Because there’s no need to. It isn’t a doomsday that I failed. It’s just a reminder that I am weak, but tomorrow is a new day.

Blogging really did help me. I was actually planning to write more in detail in my ED series a bit further down the road. Anyway, sorry about this epic comment, haha. I have lots to talk to you. Hope to see you soon, Eden.


lindsay August 10, 2011 at 11:05 am

when I started blogging, I was opened to a whole new world of recovery blogs. NOt even sure how I got there. But at least it led me to you! Although I don’t see you as a recovery blog anymore. I guess thats a good thing! No sugar coating here, and thats exactly what people need to hear sometimes.

While I am all about the freedom of choice in blogging, we also must examine our purpose behind it. Is it a way to be held accountable, to find support, etc. Those are all purposeful to me. I like what Sophia said about why it helped her. It takes strength and courage to be that vulnerable. I like to think people are writing or blogging in order to “heal” or to “grow” in some way or form. But i guess I would be naive to think that for everyone, right?

<3 u!


lindsay August 10, 2011 at 11:06 am

awwwesome recipe! Do you think goats milk yogurt would make it taste too weird?


Eden August 10, 2011 at 3:43 pm

no, that could work!


Eden August 10, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I don’t think I started blogging to “recover”. It was just an outlet and a hobby, a better hobby than running and starving myself. And I would never sugar coat! Too many carbs!


Anonymousynonym August 10, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I see the hypocrisy thing all the time. It’s easy to talk about how much I’m eating when I feel like I’m thin or when I’m losing weight. It’s HARD to talk about how much I’m eating when I’m gaining. So when someone sounds cheerful or upbeat describing how much food they’re eating, I immediately become suspicious. The tone isn’t right! It sounds cynical, but if it’s not hard, you’re not doing it right/not really addressing your issues, in all likelihood.

In addition, that breathy enthusiasm about food recovery bloggers sometimes get, which must until recently have been the object of terror, is disingenuous. Healthy people, yes, can rhapsodize whimsically about how delicious cake is. Eating-disordered people… should probably work on /not/ being obsessed with food and should write about their mindset, instead.


Missy August 10, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Oh, man I feel you on this:

It’s easy to talk about how much I’m eating when I feel like I’m thin or when I’m losing weight. It’s HARD to talk about how much I’m eating when I’m gaining. So when someone sounds cheerful or upbeat describing how much food they’re eating, I immediately become suspicious.


Eden August 10, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I agree, and there is always the risk of triggering other people. Bu then again, that may be the responisbility of the reader….


Anonymousynonym August 10, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Oh, for sure–I don’t blame blogs for ‘triggering’ me; if anything, spotting unhealthy blogs is a good sanity check. Buut it is good to be able to NOTICE when someone sounds unhealthy.


Tiff @ Love Sweat and Beers August 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Interesting post! I have kind of thought they might do more harm than good. Just because you’re eating healthier doesn’t mean it’s helping to alleviate an obsession with food. I’m glad I’m not the only one who kinda thinks that.


Susan August 10, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Hmm, I think I agree with Lindsay. I don’t view your blog as “recovery blog” because it is so much more than a blog about your recovery from an eating disorder. I don’t really know what else to say and I’m so worried I’ll say the wrong thing, but I think you are a lot bigger than your past. Even though you and I may have different pasts, I still relate to a lot of what you talk about every day and I think that shows that there is a whole lot to Eden besides your eating disorder.

Was I PC there? It’s hard to talk about this stuff sometimes and I never want to offend! Love you boo!

As for your question, I think a lot of it depends on the person and how well that person knows themselves. If you know that something “triggers” you to think/feel a certain way, then maybe it’s healthier to avoid it. But if blogging makes you feel stronger, then I think it’s healthy.


Missy August 10, 2011 at 3:16 pm

My blog may be labeled as a “recovery” blog – but that’s not how I view it. I blog about me, my life, my thoughts, fun things, food…etc. Nothing of merit I assure you (0:

I’m going through this awful craziness, though, so it gets mentioned quite a bit. But I’m more than my ED, more than my recovery. If a person sets up a blog devoted solely to their recovery they’re vulnerable to staying entrenched in their ED identity. Dangerous. (And boring).

When I blog about my recovery/ED I have received AMAZING feedback and some great advice and swift kicks in the azz when I need them. It has been so incredibly moving, inspiring and helpful. I have got to bl-know so many beautiful people. Words cannot express my gratitude for blogging in that regard.

I get attacked quite a bit . People have been critical about my appearance…..but it doesn’t bother me because …really? It’s just a dumb blog at the end of the day.
My ED has never really been about how I look to other people or even to myself. It’s about how I feel from the inside out.

If I actually cared what people thought about my weight it would hurt. Anyone blogging with photographs needs to be aware of that.

Also it’s important to note that a person recovering from ED is prone to substitute addictions/obsessions and can quickly become all-consumed with recovery. I think blogging about it can really hurt in that instance. You over think everything. Especially ESPECIALLY if they are doing the daily eats thing.

I wish there was a word limit on commenting. Seriously. Oh well, I’m going with it. EXCELLENT topic Eden.


Eden August 10, 2011 at 3:49 pm

No, I don’t like word limits!
I hope you didn’t get offended, its just I know too many people that think a blog is their ticket to recovery. But their is no direct ticket to recovery, and there is always a risk of putting something online for the world to see.
If blogging helps you gain weight and become healthier, by no means stop.


Missy August 10, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I wasn’t offended at all!
I don’t think I can blog my way into sanity or recovery. But it’s not hurting me — but I competely agree with your thoughts on the matter. For some people blogging might be their ticket into more insanity.


Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) August 10, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Gosh, I really have no clue. I am dealing with the opposite problem of trying not to gain weight so I can’t relate very well. But I will agree that I am suspicious when people post big photos of pastries and super fattening foods and they are emaciated. perhaps that’s all they ate all day? Not to mention that I do get jealous. I certainly can’t eat that and be thin, so it makes me feel sad for all I’m missing.

I LOVE the idea of the cheesecake!!! Yay! I have ricotta cheese that I’d like to try to use. Perhaps instead of the cream cheese just ’cause I don’t want to go out and buy another cheese product.


Missy August 10, 2011 at 4:25 pm

I have said what I think of this before. I dont want to offend because I know there are genuinely recovered/in remission peeps who blog; however, to me that number is extremely small. When I see these emaciates arms and jutting collarbones on these girls who claim they eat spoonfuls if nut butters daily – I call BS. Just the whole food related blog stuff shows me it has morphed into another form. Heck. I’m guilty by reading all the food porn even after I realized most are triggers. I have quit reading many of them but I still read and if not blogs, I’d read cookbooks or “health” magazines.

I hate to be so cynical and suspicious but I just dont buy it on most. I guess because I know where I am. I was in remission once, but now I’m back in the hell of it and trying to get back to some level of stability, normalcy, and control. I freely admit I’m a mess but if I had a blog I would easily put on that I was great, recovered and happy: I mean I do that in daily life for the most part. So I know I’d want to “put on” for an audience to get accolades and standing ovations to boost my ego and make me feel worthwhile. I’m not saying anyone does this. I’m saying that my selfish egotistic flesh would thrive on compliments of others. Geez. That’s part of the whole ED craze – someone ooohing and aahhing over how thin and disciplined you are.
Sorry for showing myself to be so horrid in my heart but I call a spade a spade, especially on myself. But to wind up, I think most recovery blogs are really another form of ED’s and I’m staying away. As far as this blog? it rocks and helps me. I like knowing there are others who don’t sugarcoat (for the carbs) and it helps to know you aren’t alone. I struggle every day and even when I get out of this round, I know I will still struggle.
Now, that cheesecake looks great and looks like something that I would eat without guilt! (how sad is it that I or anyone feels guilty or scared of food? But I do and I won’t lie about it so therefore I’ll attempt to make it with lowfat cream cheese!)


Missy August 10, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Hi Missy,
I only know you from your comments (and guest blog) but I sincerely hate on the fact that you are struggling currenty and wanted to send out a little virtual warmth.

You sound like a freaking STRONG woman (and mama! You make people!) and as you said WHEN you get out of this current funk, not IF…..you will be stronger. I just hope it is soon (0:


Missy August 10, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Thanks Missy (great name BTW!)
I appreciate the virtual warmth and comments. Things are somewhat better and like I said, it somewhat helps to know that it is not easy to get out of “the habit” because it is such a crutch that falsely/temporarily makes you feel better. But I do know I will overcome this hurdle and hopefully soon. Thanks again!


Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) August 10, 2011 at 6:29 pm

I want to give you a hug too. You seem so knowledgeable about your ED and in tuned. I hope that you find a happy place soon. You’re such a sweetheart.


Eden August 10, 2011 at 8:12 pm

I want a hug

Missy August 10, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Group hug!! ;)
Thanks Deb – when you’ve lived with a monster for about 25 years, you kind of get to know it pretty well.
Eden you know I virtually hug you daily!!

lynn @ the actor's diet August 10, 2011 at 4:43 pm

microwave cheesecake. in a mug? i love you!


Eden August 10, 2011 at 8:13 pm

It beats the usual 45 min of a normal cheesecake baking! who has patience for that?


natalie (the sweets life) August 10, 2011 at 4:53 pm

i believe you that you don’t want to be one of those popular healthy living bloggers…which is precisely why i love your blog! :)


Eden August 10, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Are you kidding?! I’d love blog about my latest marathon oatmeal extraganza! ;)


Anonymousynonym August 10, 2011 at 6:29 pm

By the way, YOUR blog strikes me as very dedicated to real introspect, rather than BS, and that is why I read and comment. I just realized I should probably mention my admiration.


Anonymousynonym August 10, 2011 at 6:29 pm



Sarah August 10, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Sometimes I find that recovery blogs can be triggering. Because I read them and feel like shit because I’m nowhere near as happy and yay my body as some bloggers (who is seriously that happy all the time). I blog my battle with EDs but I share the ups/downs and I don’t claim to be anywhere near recovery. I mainly share because I don’t want anyone to feel like he/she is the only one who has felt this way. Plus I have learned some things that could make the recovery road much easier.

I think ED remission is a much better term. Because those thoughts are always there in the back of your head waiting for a trigger. I don’t always comment but I do love your blog! You’re honest and funny without making a joke of the hell of ED.


Sara K August 10, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Eden! So I saw your post on Julie Go Lean and I knew I had to see your blog! I thought I was the only blogger who doesn’t give a s%*t about protein powders and all that wack-ass stuff, I don’t need protein, I eat assloads of meat erry single day
This is such a great post, you’re saying everything I’ve wanted to say for so long, that’s part of the reason I’ve unfollowed so many “health” blogs is that I can see right through the writers and their actual struggles (and I think I’m credible considering I once had anorexia, recovered, read lots of recovery blogs)…the blog I keep now is not a recovery blog in any way, in fact there is no mention of any of my ED history on there because I want the comparisons/sympathies/blahblahs to be kept outta it- I’m in a good place now and I like my meat, I like my rich Indian dinners and I damn right love my chocolate cheesecake erry night!
Alright, nice to meet you- I’m about to go stalk all your other posts


Eden August 11, 2011 at 12:17 am

stalk away. I hope you don’t mind profanity….oh well, fuck it.


Sara K August 11, 2011 at 3:35 am

I’ve just spent the past several hours going through your posts.
You’re basically saying everything on my mind that I was always too afraid to say. And I think I just realized that THIS is the difference between reading a blog for entertainment and content as opposed to reading one to…you know say how DELISH that oatmeal looks and how I’m gonna give it a try (as if)


Missy August 11, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Eden hooked another one!


Blond Duck August 11, 2011 at 12:21 am

As a writer, I think writing in general can be therapeutic and know I have posted stuff on struggles I’ve had. But considering that anyone (future employers, husbands, children) can read what you write, it is worth thinking about. My big concern is that so many 20-somethings are making a habit of extreme exercise and diet. And with all these blogs, recovery or recovered, what is this setting up for the future? In 20 years, will these women still want to be known as the girl who ran 10 miles a day and only ate 500 calories or will they want to be known for them?


Alixa August 11, 2011 at 12:58 am

sorry but I think your “remission” has left a chip on your shoulder. All your entries so to lack any compassion and are filled with anger and resentment.

You may or may not be in what you think is a new and improved place in your life but that is no reason to vilify those who are struggling and using blogs for whatever reason.

Maybe they too are just steps away from remission/recovery and who are you (or anyone for that matter) to be judgmental. It’s a mental illness that manifests differently for different reasons for everyone affected.

Acting superior doesn’t make you an stronger or better a human being.


Eden August 11, 2011 at 1:04 am

I guess I am angry at this disorder. I’ve lost the ability to feel sorry for most people who are deep in this. this disorder killed a good friend of mine and has done nothing but harm to me. And you are right, everyone is different. For some, a blog might help. For some, not so much. But I did mention at the end that you should do what honestly helps you.
thank you for your honesty.


Chuck August 11, 2011 at 5:15 am

I think if you claim and say you are totally recovered and then make egg white omelets and weird oatmeal-breakfast cake things topped with “delicious sauce made from peanut flour” you should take a second look at yourself.

I’m guilty


nicole August 11, 2011 at 2:10 pm

I love what you have to say about the blogosphere, but it bothers me that you would guest post on a certain person’s blog… when she is like the EPITOME of what you hate about “healthy living bloggers”! She eats giant bowls of veggies and very little else other than oatmeal with protein powder; sugar-free/fat free everything but claims she just “feels best this way” because it’s “healthy”!! Her blog is one of the most triggering I’ve come across because she denies having any eating issues when people call her out on her disordered habits, but clearly has problems. The ONLY thing she ever eats when she goes out to eat is an egg white omelette with broccoli. Obsession, much?? I could go on and on but I’ll stop.


Lindsey August 11, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Eden, I think remission is the best way to describe it. There really isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my ED days. To even say “my ED days,” as if they’re in the past, is a stretch. I think I could easily argue that someone going through this is never 100% recovered and its naive to think that ED never enters their head again. I think it’s a constant battle. I find myself getting frustrated that I have to celebrate small victories…like fuck, made it through one more minute, on to the next. Like you said you were, I’m also mad at this disorder.

I recently commented on a popular blogger’s entry (I don’t want to name names because I think the ciber fairies can see this and then link it back to her somehow. But anyway..you commented on my comment so I know you read it) that I think blogs can be really harmful (for me). One of the things I’ve had to do is completely STOP reading several that were triggering for me. It really makes me sad to see girls talking about every little thing they ate and pretend like they have it all together. Some people might not like your brutal honesty, but I, for one, appreciate it. I think your blog is unique because you capture all the dark sides that come with an ED that no one else likes to talk about (like loss of friends, hair, period, good moods, etc). You make me want to clean out the list of blogs I read and start again with people who are actually a good influence for me. Keep up the great work..I look forward to your sarcasm every day.


scott August 12, 2011 at 1:01 am

very very interesting! I totally agree that sometimes there is a disordered perspective to a lot of blogs, and not always the most honesty. I can’t wait to read their thoughts up there ^^ too

have a wonderful Friday!



Pure2raw twins August 12, 2011 at 1:15 am

we try not to be looked at as a recovery blog, we did have eating disorders but that was not why we started our blog. we have discussed our issues a few times on our blog in hopes to help someone going through the same thing, but never our full mission of our blog. we always question some blogs that show all this food and may not look the “best” I think you know what I mean.



dani August 16, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Dude that’s kind of an awesome recipe.


Assisted Recovery Centers of America May 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm

this is awesome, thank you so much!


Leave a Comment

Spam protection by WP Captcha-Free

Previous post:

Next post: