What I Hate About Trader Joe’s In Gifs

by Eden on May 31, 2013

Trader Joe’s is definitely the “cool kid” amidst the grocery store world.

They’ve opened hundreds of new stores within the past year (including two less than a mile away from my house) and everyone from poor college students to rich celebrities shop there.

But nobody’s perfect, Traders included.

Here’s a guide to their imperfections with the illustrated help of gifs:


1) Their “Reduced Fat Cheese Puffs”

It’s Cheetos for poor people even though Cheetos costs maybe two cents more.

Trader’s version took out the preservatives and fat that the real Cheetos have so it tastes like disappointment.


2) The. Stupid. Fucking. Bell!!!

What is this, a train? A ship? A ranch?

None of the above,

Its just some guys in Hawaiian shirts communicating in their version of Morse code while giving shoppers aneurysms.


3) Free-Range Children Everywhere

I won’t blame the kids so I’ll blame the parents.

Control your kids and be better parents, dammit!


4) Parking

Can you have one store, just ONE where the parking is painless? Why does it always have to look like this (please watch this gif to its entirety) :


5) They Discontinue Perfectly Awesome Items

Why do you do this? Is this some sort of sick version of grocery euthanasia?

Victims include incredible foods like their chocolate orange cake, dark chocolate pretzel bark, and sourdough crackers

You leave me missing those items so effing much.


6) The Cashiers are Too Nice

Seriously, I think TJ’s employees pop Prozac like they would popcorn. Why must they love EVERYONE? Can no one be unfriendly and silent when you’re ringing them up?

I hate that they’re nice because I end up complaining how nice they are thus making me look like an asshole.

Or at least like Hannah from “Girls”.


What do you hate about TJ’s ? (gif is optional)

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Ellen May 31, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Charles Shaw. Two buck chuck is not wine, it’s alcohol for people who want to get drunk and appear somewhat classy while doing it.
And the traffic in the aisles is about as bad as the parking lot.


Kyle June 4, 2013 at 9:26 pm

^^actually it’s three buck chuck now..

Eden.. some of your best in this one.. laughing till my stomach hurts..


Joanie July 10, 2013 at 9:30 pm

It depends on state tax.


chriso June 4, 2013 at 9:54 pm

Geez…find something to do. The 2 TJs in Ventura have great parking, and…can’t be bothered responding to the rest of this crap.


Eden June 4, 2013 at 10:57 pm

I know, I’m such a bummer.


Mikeski June 4, 2013 at 10:58 pm

Right now I hate you for your first world problems. Suck it up.


Mikeski June 4, 2013 at 11:02 pm

Oh, right, sarcasm. In that case, all is forgiven.


Eden June 4, 2013 at 11:05 pm

I hate me too.


Daniela June 5, 2013 at 12:06 am

They discontinued my fav: eggless egg salad!!


Eden June 5, 2013 at 12:35 am

I know, I realized that not long ago. I’m surprised the vegans didn’t do a sit-in.


Selwyn June 5, 2013 at 4:52 pm

Couldn’t you find a gif of all the guys getting rejected by all the hot chicks shopping at TJ’s?


Julie Gladstone June 6, 2013 at 9:05 am

Well I guess I’m not missing to much in Trader Joe’s.
Strange Gif’s but I guess it would make sense to TJ’s customer’s


Heather June 9, 2013 at 8:26 pm

I find the Trader Joe’s in Union Square to be the most awesome Trader Joe’s ever (besides the immense crowds) – there are usually never any children, parking is never a problem, there seems to be way less bell ringing.

I love their cheese puffs. The cheetos ones though, not the puffs – those aren’t half as good. Also, all their frozen foods are amazing.
Also, the fact that you can try something and RETURN IT if you don’t llike it is my idea of heaven. But I love that you got LC’s mascara tear in here. Best thing ever.


Leslie June 11, 2013 at 3:21 pm

They discontinued their soy chips, and I loved them!!


Susan June 12, 2013 at 7:27 am

Sometimes if you beg and plead and cry they bring items back. Case in point: roasted vegetable pizza!

I like the nice cashiers, except for the guy who looks like Santa and makes me sing a song if I want to swipe my credit card. NO.


Chefistophelese June 27, 2013 at 12:51 pm

I hate how much I love the cookie butter… o.O


Melody June 29, 2013 at 2:31 pm

they discontinued the dried pomegranate seeds and I hate them for that. WHY?!?!?!?!?!


Victor M July 3, 2013 at 3:16 am

And always remember – an “organic” pop tart – is still a flippin’ pop tart!


jack24 July 6, 2013 at 4:41 pm

where are you@ been ages hope you are happy and well xxxxx


Joanie July 10, 2013 at 9:28 pm

Just so you know, we would get fired if we weren’t “too nice” to asshole customers like you. We get paid shit and all hate our jobs so please do me a favor and shop somewhere else, but first please go fuck yourself (said in the nicest way possible)


Eden July 11, 2013 at 12:09 am

This is all written sarcastically. I respect Trader Joe’s employees completely. I’m just stupid and bored so I make lame posts like about mundane things.


jack24 July 20, 2013 at 4:46 pm

thank god you are still there missing your wit. look after yourself


Leslie July 20, 2013 at 5:04 pm

been missing you as well, hope everything is ok!


Eden July 23, 2013 at 6:48 pm

Yep, everything is good. New post and a podcast coming soon!


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