Trader Joe’s is definitely the “cool kid” amidst the grocery store world.
They’ve opened hundreds of new stores within the past year (including two less than a mile away from my house) and everyone from poor college students to rich celebrities shop there.
But nobody’s perfect, Traders included.
Here’s a guide to their imperfections with the illustrated help of gifs:
1) Their “Reduced Fat Cheese Puffs”
It’s Cheetos for poor people even though Cheetos costs maybe two cents more.
Trader’s version took out the preservatives and fat that the real Cheetos have so it tastes like disappointment.
2) The. Stupid. Fucking. Bell!!!
What is this, a train? A ship? A ranch?
None of the above,
Its just some guys in Hawaiian shirts communicating in their version of Morse code while giving shoppers aneurysms.
3) Free-Range Children Everywhere
I won’t blame the kids so I’ll blame the parents.
Control your kids and be better parents, dammit!
Can you have one store, just ONE where the parking is painless? Why does it always have to look like this (please watch this gif to its entirety) :
5) They Discontinue Perfectly Awesome Items
Why do you do this? Is this some sort of sick version of grocery euthanasia?
Victims include incredible foods like their chocolate orange cake, dark chocolate pretzel bark, and sourdough crackers
You leave me missing those items so effing much.
6) The Cashiers are Too Nice
Seriously, I think TJ’s employees pop Prozac like they would popcorn. Why must they love EVERYONE? Can no one be unfriendly and silent when you’re ringing them up?
I hate that they’re nice because I end up complaining how nice they are thus making me look like an asshole.
Or at least like Hannah from “Girls”.
What do you hate about TJ’s ? (gif is optional)