The Pros and Cons of Being Pretty (most of time)

by Eden on August 20, 2012

I like saying it like it is here on Eden Eats blah blah blah…..

I don’t like bullshitting my readers because I don’t like bullshitting in general.

(big fan of regular shitting though)

Continuing the theme of being open with you, I’d like admit that I’m kinda pretty.

With some effort, I’m almost gorgeous.

Am I genetically blessed? Smug? Superficial?

(yes, all of the above)

I should note that I used to think I was horrendous so that’s my little bit of humility in this post.

Anyhow, I also wanted to prove that being “pretty” has its pros and cons. Let’s examine:

 

Pro: I’M PRETTY!

Yay for actually feeling pretty once in a while!

 

Con: I Can’t Complain about Being “Pretty”

I’ll be perfectly blunt:

I think that with a little effort, I’m pretty. With a lot of effort I can maybe pull off “gorgeous”.

However, I’m not allowed to complain about being pretty despite my desire too.

 

Pro: I can get out of some parking tickets

Emphasis on “some” because all bets are off with a female cop.

 

Con: I Will Forever Be Single

Here’s the thing: nice guys never, ever hit on pretty girls (presumably because they’re intimidated?).  Instead, you get a bunch of annoying pickup lines like:

“Hey, are you a model?”

Then I get all embarrassed because

A) I’m obviously not a model, and

B) what are you supposed to say? “No, I’m not a model, I’m just NATURALLY STUNNING.”

 

Pro: I Can Trick Some People Into Thinking I’m a Genius

I’m so not a genius and if you’re a frequent reader of my site, my grammar and spelling skillz pretty much prove it to you.

But I can confidently state tjat I’m not a total dunce. I mean, its not like I ever had a mullet or anything.

At first, most people I meet have fairly low expectations of me. Then I open my big mouth and use big adult-ish words like “interest rates” or funny words like “crapkin” (aka, toilet paper). Someone once told me, “Wow. You surprised me. You have a sense of humor and seem kinda smart. That’s a lot of multitasking!” If I wore glasses, I’d pretty much blow everyone’s mind.

 

Con: Some people don’t think I’m a genius and they just act weird

When some people realize that my head isn’t hollow, they tend to get weirded out.
A lot of females give me the stink eye and think unkind thoughts about me. Then I make a point to see them without make-up, on a teenage-acne-sprout-up kind of day, and they realize I’m human. And it gets really uncomfortable with middle aged perverts who expect me to be dumb enough to believe they’re chivalrous.
Pro: Its a Great Self Esteem Booster

When it comes to myself, I’m shallow as fuck.

I don’t rely on my wit or culinary skills to give me confidence.

Fuck that.

Looking good raises my self esteem.

 

 

Con: When I look like shit, I feel even more terrible than people that are naturally shitty looking

When I feel ugly, I REALLY feel like a monster so much so that I turn into a hermit and cease posting instagram self portraits. Instead, I resort to posting  pictures of my dog to trick people that I have a social life.

 

How do you feel about the way you look? Be honest. Do you judge people based on how they look?

You know we can’t be friends if you’re prettier than me, right?

 

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