I like saying it like it is here on Eden Eats blah blah blah…..
I don’t like bullshitting my readers because I don’t like bullshitting in general.
(big fan of regular shitting though)
Continuing the theme of being open with you, I’d like admit that I’m kinda pretty.
With some effort, I’m almost gorgeous.
Am I genetically blessed? Smug? Superficial?
(yes, all of the above)
I should note that I used to think I was horrendous so that’s my little bit of humility in this post.
Anyhow, I also wanted to prove that being “pretty” has its pros and cons. Let’s examine:
Pro: I’M PRETTY!
Yay for actually feeling pretty once in a while!
Con: I Can’t Complain about Being “Pretty”
I’ll be perfectly blunt:
I think that with a little effort, I’m pretty. With a lot of effort I can maybe pull off “gorgeous”.
However, I’m not allowed to complain about being pretty despite my desire too.
Pro: I can get out of some parking tickets
Emphasis on “some” because all bets are off with a female cop.
Con: I Will Forever Be Single
Here’s the thing: nice guys never, ever hit on pretty girls (presumably because they’re intimidated?). Instead, you get a bunch of annoying pickup lines like:
“Hey, are you a model?”
Then I get all embarrassed because
A) I’m obviously not a model, and
B) what are you supposed to say? “No, I’m not a model, I’m just NATURALLY STUNNING.”
Pro: I Can Trick Some People Into Thinking I’m a Genius
I’m so not a genius and if you’re a frequent reader of my site, my grammar and spelling skillz pretty much prove it to you.
But I can confidently state tjat I’m not a total dunce. I mean, its not like I ever had a mullet or anything.
At first, most people I meet have fairly low expectations of me. Then I open my big mouth and use big adult-ish words like “interest rates” or funny words like “crapkin” (aka, toilet paper). Someone once told me, “Wow. You surprised me. You have a sense of humor and seem kinda smart. That’s a lot of multitasking!” If I wore glasses, I’d pretty much blow everyone’s mind.
Con: Some people don’t think I’m a genius and they just act weird
When it comes to myself, I’m shallow as fuck.
I don’t rely on my wit or culinary skills to give me confidence.
Looking good raises my self esteem.
Con: When I look like shit, I feel even more terrible than people that are naturally shitty looking
When I feel ugly, I REALLY feel like a monster so much so that I turn into a hermit and cease posting instagram self portraits. Instead, I resort to posting pictures of my dog to trick people that I have a social life.
How do you feel about the way you look? Be honest. Do you judge people based on how they look?
You know we can’t be friends if you’re prettier than me, right?