Scary Stuff

by Eden on October 28, 2011

I don’t like “conquering” my fears. I know it shows bravery or whatever but I’m just too much of a pussy.

With Halloween coming up, maybe it will make me feel better if I just share some of my fears with you.

Here are some things that scare the bejeezus out of me. I’m not giving you all of them, because frankly, I’m freaked out just thinking about most of this stuff. Heck, you’re lucky I’m telling this much.

The feeling you get the moment before a car accident.

I hate that I’ve been in an accident that left me in the hospital with screws in my shoulder. I take comfort in the fact that it wasn’t my fault and that my insurance got me a new car (since my old one was totaled). But I still fear that point where your mind realizes that there is nothing you can do to prevent what’s about to happen right before an accident. Basically, the “Gah! You’re screwed!” feeling.

Richard Simmons

If I see that freaky creature dancing one more time or holding hands with a one of his worshipers while tearing up, I am going to shit myself.

Hold me.

He’s creepy, weird and I would run the other way if I saw him coming. Plus, I heard he bitch slapped some dude. I’m getting goosebumps just thinking of it….
Doctors who want you to make an appointment to “discuss your test results”
This leads to the next one….
Cancer
I often feel like a walking time bomb. My mom died of breast cancer. Now my dad is dying of brain cancer. I feel its just a matter of time before I discover a tumor. Needless to say, I’m still drinking diet soda.
Nancy Grace

No reason really, she just gives me goosebumps.

I feel like she'll yell at anything

[Some] Foods

I have been working on fear foods for what feels like forever.  I mean with some of them, literally for years.

Night of the Living Carb

And yet, they still stay “scary”. I’m now able to rationalize that no food has the magical power to make turn me into the grimace or make me a bad person or whatever it is that my ED is trying to convince me of. Yet I still have some anxiety whenever I consume certain foods and that I won’t be able to stop eating. I keep trying to challenge these fears and eat the foods that scare me to get over the fear, but no matter how many times I try and succeed, I still have a ton of anxiety. But I keep exposing. Exposure, exposure, exposure. Its the only way to quell it.

 

Men who silence their girlfriends with a quick look

Needs no explanation.

Being “An Adult”

Losing my mom so young, I had to grow up fast. Now that  I’m taking care of my dad, I don’t feel prepared to handle everything once he passes. Its beyond stuff like bills and mortgage. Its stuff that I know people didn’t have to deal with until they were in their 60’s. But, I need to bite the bullet and be a grown up. I’m still allowed to eat cheerios though. I’ll never outgrow that.

Turning around to discover someone following me

Except on Twitter

 

 

When Toast Pops Out of The Toaster

Mainly, I’m just scared of the carbs in the toast

 

Bottom Line: Everyone has fears, as odd as they may be. Fear is a good thing; It keeps us on our toes. If there was nothing to scare the living daylights out of people, there would be no order to this world. We’d all be littering and not giving a shit about the planet and stuff. I guess its not so bad that I have things to overcome. Whatever scares you or makes you hyperventilate, it’s all for a purpose. Fears sort of shape the person you are, not just the person who screams all the way through eating a lot of carbs.

You know what I’m talking about. 😉

What scares you (rational or irrational)? Did you conquer it? Do you want to?

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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Kristina @ spabettie October 29, 2011 at 1:12 am

I totally know that feeling of the car accident thing – I’ve been in a bad accident, and I remember for months after, whenever I was driving, tensing up as I slowed at an intersection, thinking the car behind me was going to plow into me and I’d hear that horrific noise in my head all over again (I was rear ended, hit and run, pushed me into an intersection where I was hit by another car). A hole.

This next one is COMPLETELY irrational: (go with me here, say it is…) when Jason is out of town, I have to walk Basil at night. we live out in the middle of nowhere, no streetlamps… it is PITCH DARK and I am not even exaggerating (I have a flashlight). My fear is a person is going to A) jump out of the bushes and “get me” B) run into my house while I am opening the door. it’s crazy. I know.

and DANG. I’m still afraid of spiders. in a bad way. totally irrational. stupid spiders.

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Eden October 29, 2011 at 7:03 am

Nope. I’m terrified of spiders, totally rational. those fuckers have EIGHT legs!!! Can you imagine how much time they waste shaving them?!

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Kiran October 29, 2011 at 1:18 am

Up until now – posting a comment scared me!

Something that still scares me? Answering the telephone.
Even with caller ID, I still hate the sound of a ringing phone, and the unknown of what the other person will say after I say “hello.”

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Eden October 29, 2011 at 7:02 am

Yay! you posted a comment! See? Not so bad, eh?

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Cammy October 29, 2011 at 3:33 am

I know what you mean about the pre-crash resignation/dread/terror feeling. It’s amazing how time literally feels like it slows down as you realize what’s happening (or at least that’s been my experience).

One of my big fears is being burned. This isn’t quite the same as a fear of fire (although I have that too, fucking terrifies me). I burned my hand quite badly on a hot piece of metal as a kid, and so now I’m hyper vigilant about not touching any pans, pots, pipes, bags of microwave popcorn, or anything else that looks like it could conceivably be above room temperature without wearing oven mitts on both hands.

I also startle very easily, creating no end of amusement for my boyfriend, brothers, neighborhood mockingbirds, doorbell, fireworks….and anyone/anything else that finds it fun or convenient to torment me.

It’s got to be hard to have that lingering fear about developing cancer after both your parents did…have you ever seen a genetic counselor or something similar, to see if they can test for any distinct susceptibilities? None of my business, just a random thought. I have a TON of respect for the fact that you really are/have been stepping up and being more responsible and in control at many people would even dream of at our age. I know sometimes we aren’t given a choice on things like that, but the way you seem to have handled it is really impressive.

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lindsay October 29, 2011 at 4:23 am

fear does drive us, or rather keep us in line. I totally get that. Fear of the uknown is how we live our lives and that of course freaks me out because it means I have not control. Controlling? Me? psshawww.

You have been forced to grow up quickly Ededn, and being adult is scary. But just know you are never alone. xxoo

sorry to be all mushy in stuff.

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Eden October 29, 2011 at 7:04 am

I like mushy sometimes. Its better than hard (well, in places other than “between the sheets” 😉 ).

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Joy October 29, 2011 at 4:27 am

I am terrified of my house burning down. My first house did when I was 19 and I’ve never gotten over it… Therefore in my safe is things like letters from my mom, a book I can’t replace and other sentimental goodies – nothing of any importance to anyone but me

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~Andy October 29, 2011 at 7:23 am

The main fears are stuff that I can’t control, like seeing others in pain. That said, yeah, Richard Simmons is right up there – yet I just can’t look away.

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Natalie S. October 29, 2011 at 8:22 am

You know those cans of biscuits? To open them, you have to pull the wrapper around until it pops open. That horrifies me.

Also, growing up.

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Shannon October 29, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Yes! I scream when the biscuit can pops!

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Lindsay @ Lindsay's List October 29, 2011 at 9:05 am

I’ve been in THREE car accidents (only one my fault) and I know that feeling all too well! Time really does slow down and you realize you’re f*cked.
Another one I have is of Travis dying of an early death and leaving me widowed with two young kids. WAY Scary.

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Rachel October 29, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I’m with you on the car accident…I totaled the first car I bought on my own, and right as the accident was happening, I felt like I was in a slow-motion film I couldn’t stop. Freaky.

I also fear wasps (since those bastards like to make their way into my kitchen at every opportunity), pitch black rooms/not being able to see what’s in front of me or behind me, drowning in a locked car (I can’t swim and I’m claustrophobic), and heights. Strangely enough, I don’t think about or fear things that could harm my child…Probably because if I let my brain come up with horrible scenarios involving him, I’d probably need to be put in a padded cell or I’d lock him in the basement for the rest of his life!

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Shannon October 29, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Nancy Grace FOR SURE! You are so so right with that one. Fear foods still have anxiety about those but continually work on it like you said exposure, exposure,exposure! The scream mask. The look of honeycombs, lotus pods, skin grafts, etc…(I know this is strange and I can’t even really explain it) it makes me shiver immediately.

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Missy October 29, 2011 at 6:04 pm

This really tugged at my heart strings.
Yeah, exposure to fear foods is strengthening but your exposure to illness and death is just so unfortunate. It’s not freaking fair. And my heart goes out to you.

Yet I do believe that things can be brought together –to weave a fabric out of ruins that is beautiful and strong and meaningful.

You said it here –> ” Fears sort of shape the person you are” and in your case I hope (and I really think it is) that what you have been through has added to your ability to appreciate life and loved ones.

PS- I just heard tonight Nancy Grace had a “nip slip” on Dancing with the stars and am resisting the urge to google it. *shiver* But I might cave.

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deva at deva by definition October 29, 2011 at 7:38 pm

I fear people being able to see in my windows after dark. What if someone is watching me read blogs? Creepy.

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Eden October 29, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Is that my blog I see you reading???? 😉

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Stephanie October 30, 2011 at 5:12 am

I’m scared of:
– serial killers. I watch Criminal Minds too often. Although I wouldn’t mind being saved by Shemar Moore.
– earwigs. Gah. Gross and evil-looking and skittery.
– never getting pregnant. Or getting pregnant and losing the baby.
– aliens. What? I grew up during the thickest part of the alien abduction hysteria.
– losing my husband. He’s in the airforce, and although his job is mostly about patrolling the coast (where it’s nice and safe), I’m still really scared that one day I’ll lose him.
– car accidents. Definitely car accidents. I was hit from behind at a red light by a drunk driver at full speed. Terrifying. Hard to get over.
– carbon monoxide poisoning. Sometimes I don’t even want to turn the heat on, just in case something goes wrong and my (three) carbon monoxide alarms all fail at once.

Wow. Thanks for making me realize how neurotic I actually am. And here I’ve thought of myself as well-adjusted all these years!

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Stephanie October 30, 2011 at 5:13 am

I’m so sorry about your parents. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to lose your mom and now have your dad so sick. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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Kristy Lynn @ Gastronomical Sovereignty October 30, 2011 at 10:48 am

related to car accidents: i constantly have a fear that someone is not going to be paying attention behind the wheel and their car is going to smash into me head on while I’m walking. Because of this, I usually walk with my back to traffic and stand way back when stuck at traffic lights. It’s weird, irrational, and lame, but it’s true.

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Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) October 30, 2011 at 11:07 am

Richard Simmons- haha. Kenny G scares me. And Yanni.

I used to have a fear of flying (can you imagine that…ME??) for a few months. It was only when I was on my way home from school in another city- I just wanted to live to see my family. On the way back to school, if I died, I couldn’t care less. Got over that one thankfully.

Then I had a weird fear for a few years that Derek and I would die and leave the kitties to also perish b/c no one knew that we were dead and no one would know to feed them and care for them. Got over that one too- thank god.

That’s about it. HOnestly, all the fear of parents dying is horrible, and yet when it happens, you realize that it is part of the cycle of life. I miss my Dad and Mom every day, but the fear aspect of being without them has passed. I have joy in the memories and remember them when I see places we went together. And it’s really ok. You’ll be ok too. You are stronger than you realize. Not to mention, I think that your Dad has every intention of hanging around for quite some time :-)

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Eden October 30, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Oh yes! How could I forget about Yanni and Kenny G! Whats with these musicians?!

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Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) October 30, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I am extremely afraid of spiders, even though it is pretty irrational because all the spiders where I live are harmless.

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janetha October 31, 2011 at 11:57 am

my wedding ring falling into my vitamix while it’s going.

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Kristina @ spabettie October 31, 2011 at 12:10 pm

yeek – I am always afraid of my rings coming off in the sink or yep, into the vita.

I did lose my ring in a bathroom sink once, and had those pipes undone in probably under a minute! 😀

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