When I asked on this post when the last time you farted was, I must say I was very amused to open my email every few hours.
Your answers were so hilarious, I thought I’d post some of my favorites. Although I didn’t really have a “favorite”. They all seemed genuine and nothing beats a genuine fart tale.
So here are some of the highlights:
Lindsay from Lindsay’s Lists said:
“Right this very moment, I have my laptop in the bathroom. Reading blogs and pooping – kills two birds with one stone.
Nice job, Linds. Look at you being all efficient.
A reader, Lindsey (not to be confused with the Lindsay above) said:
“wait for it…..wait for it….ahhh. Right. Now. Protein Farts for the win!”
Yea, call me crazy, but I find protein farts to be he smelliest.
“The last time I farted I was in the library studying some econ, and was sitting by two guys obviously working together on a project. I farted (silently) and pretended nothing happened. All of a sudden, one of the guys (to his study partner) goes “Dude that was majorly nasty!!!” and looked rather disgusted at his friend.
I would say I’m a winner.”
Yea, fuck you Charlie Sheen. Ellie is definitely “winning”!
“I fart all the time. A few times an hour. The worst part is when I do so in my office and then someone comes in to talk to me IMMEDIATELY after. Marshall can’t believe how much I fart. More than him, for sure, and he has crohns! My boss and his wife don’t fart in front of each other EVER. How miserable.”
Yea, I would never marry someone that can’t handle my butt burps! This would explain why I’ll become an old maid (or as I prefer to call it “Vintage Housekeeper”)
A reader, Pam, said:
“my husband says I fart all the time while I sleep…He doesn’t like to spoon me as I always fart on his leg…lmao”
After reading that comment, I swear I farted because my butt muscles were loosening up from laughing so hard!
Even though I’m no fan of giveaways, I admit I do like giving people presents.
And since my birthday is coming up, I thought I better do a few giveaways because getting presents in he mail is always fun.
The winners of my giveaway (chosen at random via that random.org website) are:
Leigh Ann, Kayla, Mary, and Chrissy
And now, I will announce my special giveaway.
So special, I’m not even going to tell you what it is. Well, I’ll give you some hints:
- It will have a few harmless edibles (nothing scary, eating disordered people! And it can be gluten free too although I have a “gluten” version as well… and please don’ t pretend you have a gluten problem of you don’t).
- Somehing from my recent trip to Belgium
- It will have something related to farting!
- It will not be expensive (sorry, I’m not a Kennedy or a Vanderbilt)
- It will include some of my favorite OCDish type things
- It won’t be a pony (I know, I really wanted to include it but it might die in the UPS truck and I could never forgive myself for letting a pony fucking die on me!)
To Enter: Of course, no need to tweet, link back, bend over backwards, forwards, sideways, up, down…. None of that.
All you need to do is tell me which storybook/cartoon character turns you on the most?
Personally, I want a hybrid of Trent from the retired 90′s show, Daria and Eric from the Little Mermaid, and Nick Carraway from “The Great Gatsby”