Reader’s Greatest “Hits” and A Mystery Package Giveaway,

by Eden on September 27, 2011

When I asked on this post when the last time you farted was, I must say I was very amused to open my email every few hours.

Your answers were so hilarious, I thought I’d post some of my favorites. Although I didn’t really have a “favorite”. They all seemed genuine and nothing beats a genuine fart tale.

So here are some of the highlights:

Lindsay from Lindsay’s Lists said:

“Right this very moment, I have my laptop in the bathroom. Reading blogs and pooping – kills two birds with one stone.
blushing now.”

Nice job, Linds. Look at you being all efficient.

A reader, Lindsey (not to be confused with the Lindsay above) said:

“wait for it…..wait for it….ahhh. Right. Now. Protein Farts for the win!”

Yea, call me crazy, but I find protein farts to be he smelliest.

 

Ellie said:

“The last time I farted I was in the library studying some econ, and was sitting by two guys obviously working together on a project. I farted (silently) and pretended nothing happened. All of a sudden, one of the guys (to his study partner) goes “Dude that was majorly nasty!!!” and looked rather disgusted at his friend.

I would say I’m a winner.”

Yea, fuck you Charlie Sheen. Ellie is definitely “winning”!

 

Janetha said:

“I fart all the time. A few times an hour. The worst part is when I do so in my office and then someone comes in to talk to me IMMEDIATELY after. Marshall can’t believe how much I fart. More than him, for sure, and he has crohns! My boss and his wife don’t fart in front of each other EVER. How miserable.”

Yea, I would never marry someone that can’t handle my butt burps! This would explain why I’ll become an old maid (or as I prefer to call it “Vintage Housekeeper”)

 

A reader, Pam, said:

“my husband says I fart all the time while I sleep…He doesn’t like to spoon me as I always fart on his leg…lmao”

After reading that comment, I swear I farted because my butt muscles were loosening up from laughing so hard!

 

Even though I’m no fan of giveaways, I admit I do like giving people presents.

And since my birthday is coming up, I thought I better do a few giveaways because getting presents in he mail is always fun.

The winners of my giveaway (chosen at random via that random.org website) are:

Leigh Ann, Kayla, Mary, and Chrissy

And now, I will announce my special giveaway.

So special, I’m not even going to tell you what it is. Well, I’ll give you some hints:

  • It will have a few harmless edibles (nothing scary, eating disordered people! And it can be gluten free too although I have  a “gluten” version as well… and please don’ t pretend you have a gluten problem of you don’t).
  • Somehing from my recent trip to Belgium
  • It will have something related to farting!
  • It will not be expensive (sorry, I’m not a Kennedy or a Vanderbilt)
  • It will include some of my favorite OCDish type things
  • It won’t be a pony (I know, I really wanted to include it but it might die in the UPS truck and I could never forgive myself for letting a pony fucking die on me!)

To Enter: Of course, no need to tweet, link back, bend over backwards, forwards, sideways, up, down…. None of that.

All you need to do is tell me which storybook/cartoon character turns you on the most?

Personally, I want a hybrid of Trent from the retired 90′s show, Daria and Eric from the Little Mermaid, and Nick Carraway from “The Great Gatsby”

 

Move over Ginger! He's MINE!

Enter Your Mail Address

{ 75 comments… read them below or add one }

Mandee Lei September 27, 2011 at 11:51 pm

OK Batman of course…that was obvious. But I also had a thing for Westley from The Princess Bride. His bad ass save the day attitude was such a turn on!

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alain September 28, 2011 at 12:04 am

Finally I can come clean about my love for Jughead from Archie comics. His aloofness and questionable sexuality just makes me want him all the more.

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Ellen September 28, 2011 at 12:25 am

I’ve always been deeply in live with Sydney Carton in A Tale of Two Cities. Clearly I have high expectations of what men should give up for the women they love. Who needs heads anyway?

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Mimi (Gingersnaps) September 28, 2011 at 12:36 am

Lordy, I have way too many fictional crushes. Real-life stags just can’t measure up!

Books:
- Sandor Clegane and Jaime Lannister, “A Game of Thrones”/”A Song of Ice and Fire”
- Javert, “Les Miserables”

Animated:
- John Smith, “Pocahontas”
- Alucard, “Hellsing”

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Aurelia September 28, 2011 at 9:33 am

Javert for the win– crotchety European inspectors just steal my heart away. :) (Heinrich Lunge – Monster, anyone?)
I usually like the characters who are like gentle giants or have something they’re passionate about~ :D Like Ueda Ryohei from Vagabond or Loa from Full Metal Alchemist (all from Japanese comics).

Sideburns and a little bulk aren’t too bad either~ ;)

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clara September 28, 2011 at 1:50 am

UH! Mixture of Calvin from Calvin&Hobbes and Winnie the Pooh.

That would be awesome!

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Cammy September 28, 2011 at 3:30 am

I remember being fairly mesmerized by the Disney version of Hercules. Maybe I have a thing for redheads. Then again in retrospect, maybe cartoon images like that do the same thing for little boys and their body anxiety as do the cartoon girls/women that have stick arms and what would be 8 inch waists on a normal person.

For books, I always thought Neville from Harry Potter would have been a good boyfriend. I kind of have a soft spot for nerds, and it seemed like he would at least honestly try to please you even if it didn’t work out. Not sure about actually being *turned on* by him, but maybe that wand can do things that J. K. Rowlings didn’t tell us about.

TV shows: I actually think the oldest son on Weeds is pretty hot. I don’t think I’m old enough for that to qualify me as a cougar yet. I was in love with George on Gray’s Anatomy until it came out that he wasn’t into women. Maybe it doesn’t matter, though, as my chances of seducing a gay actor are about the same degree of zero as my chances of successfully seducing a straight one. Oh oh and Mario Lopez? I’m SUCH sucker for dimples. But he’s not really a character I guess (I never watched Saved by the Bell)….but who in Hollywood *isn’t* their own character or brand, honestly?

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Rachel September 28, 2011 at 3:54 am

Oh, let’s see…From books: Dracula & Holden Caufield. From movies/TV shows: Titus Pullo & Lucius Vorenus from “Rome,” Edmund from “Blackadder,” and Dexter.

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cameo September 28, 2011 at 4:00 am

Does Mr. Clean count? I always had a crush on him…though I think he’s with the Brawny dude.

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Amanda September 28, 2011 at 4:21 am

I had a crush on Trent in high school. I remember the exact moment when my friend pointed out that I had a crush on a cartoon character and how little I cared. Non-cartoon crushes include Toru Okada (Murakami’s Wind-Up Bird Chronicle) and Ellen.

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Jessy (squeezetheday) September 28, 2011 at 4:35 am

Oh man, where do I start?? Dean from Supernatural, Neal from White Collar, Junior from Wildfire, some guys from tv shows about vampires haha, from latin tv shows (don’t judge!) … hottt! Also a lot of characters from books make me swoon, but there are just too many to mention – I must admit I have a weak spot for ”bad boys” in books/movies/shows. On the other hand, there are characters that did not exactly turn me on, but who seemed like they’d be great boyfriends! Seth Cohen comes to my mind. :) You’ve probably figured by now that I (used to) watch a lot of tv shows …

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Michelle September 28, 2011 at 4:57 am

Oh man. I swear I’m not trying to suck up but before I even scrolled down to see your pictures I was thinking Trent from Daria and how I loved Prince Eric as a kid!

Also, I really love the boy from the animated Anastasia movie. But that may just be because he’s voiced by John Cusak.

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Susan September 28, 2011 at 5:16 am

I feel like your comments are some of the best in the blog world. Just sayin’.

My crushes are so typical: Aladdin and Mr. Darcy. Okay, not typical, classic!

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Mary September 28, 2011 at 5:31 am

YAY! I have never won a giveaway before!!

My crushes: LLewelyn, a Welsh prince in this series I read in college (Here be Dragons)…I remember falling madly in love with him. Also, Rhett Butler in both the novel & movie. Sadly, I can’t think of any cartoon men who do it for me, but my nephew watches Yo Gabba Gabba & I always think DJ Lance is pretty cute.

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Emily September 28, 2011 at 5:47 am

Doug Funny mixed with Otto from Rocket Power!
Am I the only one that remembers these shows?

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Liz A September 29, 2011 at 5:51 pm

DOUG!! *bangin on a trashcan…..*

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Jessica @ Stylish Stealthy and Healthy September 28, 2011 at 6:10 am

I think I have to go with Aladdin (hello 12 pack abs and voice like a song bird) and Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, because he’s sweet, but can throw down in a courtroom.

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Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen September 28, 2011 at 6:18 am

Aladdin.

I don’t know why his parachute pants turn me on, but there is just something about him…

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pam September 28, 2011 at 6:48 am

Definitely NOT Barney…lol I think Eric from Little Mermaid is hot. Also from Tv: Eric and Bill from True Blood…Just thinkin about those vamps…woooo…now I need to cool off..lmao… My son is dating Ariel…yes they named her after the Little Mermaid..

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Monique September 28, 2011 at 6:55 am

ah, for me its Aladin… although They all KINDA sorta look the same though, dont they?

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Brooklyn @ Veggie Table September 28, 2011 at 7:06 am

I’m going with Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…and yes, I do realize he is a reptile.

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Missy September 28, 2011 at 7:42 am

Cartoon – not a human but I love. Daffy Duck! His sarcasm and attitude is hysterical.
But I love Zorro and totally Rhett Butler – mostly from the movie versions since I love Clark Gable and Antonio Banderas!

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Shannon September 28, 2011 at 7:43 am

Okay, I hate this question because now I can’t think of any of the names or any of the cartoons that had characters that I liked. But I will say Shawn from Boy Meets World.

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MelissaNibbles September 28, 2011 at 7:58 am

Dennis on It’s Always Sunny. I’m a victim of the D.E.N.N.I.S System!

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Carly September 28, 2011 at 8:03 am

Definitely Hercules. It’s scary how hot that cartoon man is.

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Kristina @ spabettie September 28, 2011 at 8:40 am

yay for birthdays!

I’d have to say ANY cartoon character with Patrick Warburton’s voice (David Puddy, Elaine’s boyfriend on Seinfeld). I love his voice. He generally plays these muscley guys, which is not necessarily my thing, but… that voice.

Nick Carraway, indeed.

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kayla September 28, 2011 at 9:06 am

oh wow! did i really win the fart post stevia giveaway? cool! as for a cartoon hottie, i’d have to go with aladdin! :P

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Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning September 28, 2011 at 9:24 am

Oh my god. I already have to pee really bad and this just made it a lot worse!!!!

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Haley @ Health Freak College September 28, 2011 at 9:29 am

oh wow this is a good question! i just might have to say hercules or the prince guy from cinderella. i have never thought of a question like this! you’re good eden…

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sarah (sarah learns) September 28, 2011 at 10:08 am

when my sister and i were little, before we knew what animation was, we said we were going to marry eric from the little mermaid.

then our older cousin told us that he was a drawing and not a real person and it shattered our dreams.

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Rebecca September 28, 2011 at 11:25 am

I always thought that adult Simba was totally smokin’. I was enamored with his lustrous mane…or something.
So, yeah, Simba (personified. OBV.) and Nick Adams from Hemingway’s “In Our Time”. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Nagore September 28, 2011 at 11:34 am

Brooke Shields’ partner in “The Blue Lagoon” (Richard I think it was!). It sounds a bit cradlesnatcher, I know, but I have done things I am not proud of watching that movie :S

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Liz A September 29, 2011 at 5:49 pm

great movie.

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Peabclickin September 28, 2011 at 11:58 am

Gaston from beauty and the beast of course!

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Eden September 28, 2011 at 1:48 pm

yea, but he was such an ass hole.

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Lindsay @ Lindsay's List September 28, 2011 at 6:29 pm

that’s the appeal.

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Kate September 28, 2011 at 12:49 pm

The genie in Aladdin. I’m a sucker for a guy that can make me laugh!

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Eden September 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm

I am too, but Robin Williams does his voice and I just couldn’t imagine getting “hot n heavy” with Robin Williams.

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Ameena September 28, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I’d have to say Aladdin. This shouldn’t be surprising seeing as I’m married to Ali Din. Get it?

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Eden September 28, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Hee! Didn’t even think of that! Did he come with a monkey?

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Suzy September 28, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Cartoon? Prince Naveen from The Princess and the Frog…when it’s not a frog of course. Hot…seriously.
Book-boy? Edward Cullen. But let me stress…ONLY in the books. I cannot stand the franchise movies.

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Lindsey September 28, 2011 at 2:19 pm

I love me some John Smith from Pocahontas too!
But, I have to say Colin Farrell definately got my panties a little moist in the movie “New World.” Well played Colin…well played.

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Amanda September 28, 2011 at 4:46 pm

I am cracking up at the fart comments. Too good.

Story book character that turns me on? The beast from Beauty and The Beast. “There’s something sweet and almost kind.”

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Julia September 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm

The storybook/cartoon character that turns me on the most… I think Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty.
He’s clean cut, rides horses, likes blondes, and fights witches, what’s not to like.

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Hannah September 28, 2011 at 6:11 pm

OH OH OH “Jacob” from the twilight series!!!!! I’d drink that boy up in two seconds flat :) I’ve also always had a thing for Eric from true blood! Me&fictional characters go together like flies on shit….or peanut butter on ice cream.

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Lindsay @ Lindsay's List September 28, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Judge me if you want, but I kinda always liked Jafar had it going on. Awesome facial hair, sorcery so he could make me diamonds and stuff, and a parrot servant. What more does one need?

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Annie September 28, 2011 at 6:47 pm

oh man, good question. I have to go with Dick Tracy. Any man who can pull off a yellow suit is tops in my book.

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Nicole G September 28, 2011 at 8:03 pm

Storybook character? Easy immediate answer, Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Cartoon? That one is tougher… I think I’ll have to second some above commenters and go with Hercules (from the Disney movie) – I guess its that greek in me =)

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Sam September 28, 2011 at 8:08 pm

In reality I go for blondes but I definitely had a thing for tuxedo mask from sailor moon. ( ps that’s not a pic of Trent. Trent had spiky black hair… And yes I’m that douche).

And Pam’s comment about spooning reminded me of my best fart story. While my husband and I were still dating I had slept over and while I was sleeping I farted so loudly that I woke myself up.

And ps. Does anyone elses farts sometimes smell exactly like sauerkraut?

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Kat September 28, 2011 at 8:46 pm

I didn’t even have to think about this..JOHN SMITH from Pocahontas was freaking beautiful. I got the movie when I was maybe 10 years old and had my first sex dream about John that same night…Its still so vivid to me 15 years later!

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Shaya (Eye Girl Eats) September 28, 2011 at 10:36 pm

I definitely felt a tingly in my no-no areas for Aladdin when I was a kid. He gives magic carpet rides, has a very excitable monkey, and is really good at rubbing genies out of bottles. PLUS he’s brown. Even my Persian parents would have approved!

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jacuqi September 30, 2011 at 8:54 pm
Melissa September 29, 2011 at 4:39 am

brad pitt – cool world
does anyone even remember that movie???

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Liz A September 29, 2011 at 5:48 pm

OMG – I was at a friend’s house recently and we were looking through Netflix and came upon this in the instant section. I’d never seen or heard of it before and was totally baffled by it. turned it off after 15 minutes.

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Claire September 29, 2011 at 5:03 am

I noticed that wasn’t trent either, lol.

Man, Tuxedo Mask was my first crush ever when I was little! I just wanted to be Sailor Moon overall lol. How cool would it be to transform instantly into the coolest outfits ever? But I digress…

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Heather B September 29, 2011 at 5:51 am

I was going to say Aladin too because I’ve always had a thing for the underdog, but to be different from other commenters, I’ll go with inspector gadget. I have ling arms too so I kinda feel for him!!

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Heather B September 29, 2011 at 10:30 am

Long…. Not ling.

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Christin September 29, 2011 at 10:33 am

Oh wow, too much fun…definitely think Farm Boy from The Princess Bride is hot (except what the fruit happened to Cary Elwes he looks like a fat chump now!?)

And then there’s always Demetri from Anastasia…yeah he has a penis-head haircut, but somehow it works on him…or maybe that’s why I like him? haha! Who knows…

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Daniela September 29, 2011 at 3:10 pm

I believe http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001832/ played Nick Carraway! LOOOOOOOL.

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Liz A September 29, 2011 at 5:46 pm

I would have to say Aladdin – because his voice was done by Scott Weinger (you know, DJ’s boyfriend Steve on Full House http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0918334/). and he was basically always shirtless.

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Eden September 29, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Was it really??? I had the biggest crush on Scott (after uncle jesse, of course)

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Liz A September 29, 2011 at 7:18 pm

yes! and same here… :)

and I always wanted to be just like DJ, even though in real life I’m very close in age to “Michelle” aka the Olsen twins

…..I’m all set with not being like them.

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Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) September 29, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Is the giveaway over?

If not, I will tell you my answer …

There was one Ninja Turtle that did it for me … I think it was Michaelangelo.

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Eden September 29, 2011 at 6:25 pm

No, not over! its over on my birthday, Oct 6th

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Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) September 29, 2011 at 10:15 pm

I am an October baby too :-) All the good ones are born in October.

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Pure2raw twins September 29, 2011 at 7:24 pm

hhaha so happy to hear I am not alone on farting ;) today my sisters and I were talking about gas…oh yes something we talk about too much

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Erica September 30, 2011 at 1:04 am

Can I count (early) Captain Kirk? There was a cartoon version after all and I’ll cop to owning some of the book adaptations.

I actually had a terrible crush on Peter Pan when I was very young. I also thought that Skeeve from Robert Asprin’s myth adventures series was adorable.

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Eden September 30, 2011 at 6:48 am

The captain counts! I always had a thing for captain crunch….actually, thats a lie. he creeps me out. I just like his cereal. I’ll crush on someone for cereal.

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marie September 30, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Make it so, Number one!

There’s also Westley from The Princess Bride.

And Wolverine from the X Men.

The Vin Diesel character from Pitch Black–I don’t know the name, but Lord, Vin Diesel has such a sexy voice that I’d be happy just listening to him read the phone book. That character was awesome.

Um, so, yeah, I’m a bit of a sci-fi/fantasy geek. OK, OK, I’m just geeky. But I can appreciate a fine specimen of manhood.

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RoseRunner September 30, 2011 at 3:42 pm

hehe, does “hits” mean “farts”? I guess anything can me farts, huh?

I had a little lady boner for John Smith from Pocahontas when I was a kid. Oh, and obviously: Simba. Voiced by JTT — how could I not find that cub hotttt?

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Joy September 30, 2011 at 7:37 pm

I am totally in love with genie – from Aladdin he can fulfill every wish

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jacuqi September 30, 2011 at 8:59 pm

I DIDNT READ EVERY POST…DID ANYONE MENTION …”WOWA’” JOEY FROM BLOSSOM…OR JTT JUSTIN TAYLOR THOMAS FROM HOME IMPROVMENT? THOSE WERE MY TOTAL CRUSHES,,,,I FEEL OLD . DISNEY CRUSH SIMBA – LION KING. SO INNOCENT SO STRONG.

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Meredith October 2, 2011 at 11:59 am

Sully from Avatar in his non-human form is pretty sexy….you’re blog is hysterical, absolutely love it!

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Leah October 2, 2011 at 3:59 pm

I have two cartoon crushes:
Spongebob
Tom (the one who kicks Jerry’s tuchus)
I have a gazillion book crushes, but I will spare you and give you three:
Simon (Lord of the Flies)
Lennie (Of Mice and Men)
Boo Radley (To Kill a Mockingbird)
My cartoon crushes are a little vain, but I absolutely adore my bookies because they have some sort of mental disorder, but nobody runs up to them and says it. I’m a little jealous.
And I have a girl-crush on Juliet, Romeo’s lover. What can I say for being an unabashéd Juliet supporter?

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Melody October 3, 2011 at 9:19 am

I was a sucker for Westley from The Princess Bride (like every other 80s child)

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