Quiz: Supermarket Sweep!

by Eden on January 11, 2012

I go to the grocery store more than you. Trust me, I do.

Its my job.

I shop for my cooking classes, my clients, my dad,

Sometimes, I drag my dad with me. And yes, that apple is the size of his head, and yes, its not organic.

and of course, for me.

This would be me murdering Deb outside of Trader Joes. Its cause she cut the line. Bitch.

We live in an age of consumerism where your persona is construed by how/where you choose to spend your money. Like if you spend your money on Ed Hardy shirts says to me that you’re confident in your fashion choices and don’t mind that white people like to hate you.

The same goes for which grocery store you visit. So to help you discover your “grocery store personality” I’ve created another quiz.

1.You’re waiting in line and you’re likely to overhear which of the following sentences:

a) “I gave a thousand dollars to aid in Japan and I don’t even live there, THAT’S how much I care.”

b) “ ‘Kitty-and-Me’ yoga was really grueling today!”

c) “It’s OK to hit girls as long as you’re under 18. Once you turn 18, you’re an adult, and you can get in big trouble for that.”

d) “I usually never say this, but there’s too many frozen burrito options here.”

2. When it comes to music, I like:

a) I like to say The Black Keys is my favorite band but it’s really The Dave Matthews Band.

b) Joni Mitchell, The Beatles, or Sade

c) Anything by Billy Ray Cyrus or The Dixie Chicks

d) Puff Daddy (circa 90’s), Britney Spears (when we still thought she was a virgin), Shania Twain

3. When it comes to apparel, you like to wear:

a) Anything lululemon and sunglasses (especially indoors)

b) You say you don’t like Urban Outfitters, but you dress like you jumped straight out of their catalogue.

c) If you’re a woman, you like to wear tube tops. If you’re a guy, you’re probably shirtless.

d) Pajama pants and/or college sweatshirts

4. During my free time, I like to:

a) Horseback ride, ski, brag about how many “multi-ethnic friends” I have

b) cry

c) watch football, watch NASCAR, and shoot shit

d) play with my cat (s)

5. My car of choice is:

a) an all electric, zero emissions luxury car

b) a prius (or any hybrid car)

c) a mini van (or any van, actually)

d) an SUV (but you really want a hybrid car even though you’ll never get one)

Ok. Now its time to tally up which letter you chose the most:

Mostly A’s: Whole Foods

Where going "green" = $$$

You’re probably smug but don’t know it. You actually liked high school. You hate America. You secretly wish they sold Diet Coke at Whole Foods and that old people wouldn’t move so slow around the food bar at Whole Foods.  You’re afraid of high fructose corn syrup like its a flesh eating virus and you definitely hate people that wear Ed Hardy.

Mostly B’s:Trader Joes

You enjoy crying.  You feel bad about gentrification but you can’t afford to not to gentrify. You wear those TOMS shoes.  You’re considered the “funny one” of your social circle but you steal your jokes from my twitter account.  You like anything “vintage” or “retro” even if its totally not. Best of all, you pat yourself on the back for shopping at Trader Joe’s

Mostly C’s:Wal Mart

You have several children.  You like buying everything in bulk.  You think a hipster is an overweight dancer from the 1920s.  “Sex and the City” scares you. When someone says, “drafting” you think of NASCAR first.  You enjoy yellow smily faces.

Mostly D’s: Safeway/Kroger (Ralphs)/Albertsons

 You probably live in the suburbs. You’re probably seeking out diet soda, gum, gossip magazines, peaches from Chile, tampons that don’t give you splinters (see Trader Joe’s), and all the other items the other stores don’t sell. 

my vagina hurts at the sight of it. And what's with the flower???


Ok, how did you stack up? Where do you shop the most?

Enter Your Mail Address

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Cammy January 12, 2012 at 2:19 am

I would totally be Trader Joes IF there were one within 3 hours of my home, which there is not. And the nearest Whole Foods is 2+ hours away, which is probably a good thing for my bank account, because I can’t afford to be that wholesome.

Being a broke college student, I will admit there are a lot of basic staples that I pick up at Wal-Mart. But I refuse to buy produce there, because it’s almost always cardboard crap. For that go to a little family-owned produce shop that’s just a block of my house (I’m there every other day). And for sales and some other things not available at wally world, I’m in Harris Teeter pretty often. There is a little health-food store in my town, which has some good options but the prices are a little steep and it is aimed more at gluten-free/vegan shoppers, of which I am neither. So it’s good for novelty items and such (and to remind myself periodically that yes, tapioca bread is gross even though it sounds like pudding).


Missy January 12, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Try 5 hours for nearest Trader Joes! :(


Eden January 12, 2012 at 1:26 pm

One day, Trader Joes will do that whole reverse manifest destiny and move closer to you 😉


OldZelda January 12, 2012 at 4:55 am

I am mostly D’s because I don’t trust Whole Foods or Trader Joes. One day it will come out that the organic cotton for those tampons is grown at the edge of a nuclear drainage field.
Walmart is just so dismal. I won’t eat their meats and produce, but like most people, you might catch me stopping to pick up name-brand box items there. Their meat squirts water out of it when you try to cook it!


Eden January 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

The closest wal mart to me is like an hour and half away. I think LA banned them or something.


Kristina January 12, 2012 at 6:24 am

Love this – especially the Trader Joe’s murder photo. I’ve never seen so much parking lot/waiting in line rage, which is why I kind of avoid going there unless I absolutely have to. I swear they design their parking lots badly on purpose.

Usually I shop at my local co-op/farmer’s market and Target or Rainbow. I get all of my produce, meat (occasionally), eggs and milk from the co-op or farmer’s market because I actually care how it’s grown and where it comes from. For stuff like cereal, oatmeal, greek yogurt etc I go to Target or Rainbow because you can get the exact same products for much cheaper.


Asian Bitch January 12, 2012 at 7:03 am

Aaaaaargh I totally steal my jokes from Twitter!!!!
And I love Urban outfitters.

I want to die right now.


Eden January 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I hate how easy it is too! all you need to do is just search under a fucking hashtag like #fartjokes #blondejokes #poopjokes….


Kris January 12, 2012 at 9:09 am

I DID like high school. but that’s because I spent most of it with ski team and ski poles filled with vodka. yep.

I wear Toms, but only because they have silver glitter options. AND houndstooth.

I generally shop at two places – one is a local version of Whole Foods, because they have the awesomest produce (like those gihugic apples), and the other is a local version of Kroger. because they have real toothpaste and tissue paper.


Eden January 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Ski team? Yea, maybe I would have liked high school if I was on the ski team! I was on the “loser team”.


Nagore January 12, 2012 at 9:55 am

Here in France we don’t have any of these supermarket chains…. I shop at Carrefour because it’s the cheapest/biggest store in the city where I live and I don’t own a car (so I walk there). What’s the american version of Carrefour??


Eden January 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Of course I know Carrefour! I have a reusable bag from there that I use here in the states! In Belgium, Grand Bazar was bought by Carrefour so now half the supermarkets are carrefour. I go to europe a lot to visit my grandmother so I’m very familiar with all the supermarkets there. Carrefour is basically like Albertsons/Safeway etc…


eve January 12, 2012 at 9:59 am

i got mostly Bs but I have no Trader Joes here!! Bahh… I like to think i buy everything local, but truth is, heathly food is not cheap and I shop for sales. I try to avoid walmart and the like, but alas, ’tis not always avoidable.

Great job Eden. Here I sit, at work with my oversized headphones, and I start laughing out loud in a super quiet office. Oh well, got people’s attention haha.


Heather January 12, 2012 at 11:29 am

Aldi! 😀 I also go to local grocery shops (Rainbow Foods, Cash Wise) now but when I lived in Minneapolis I would go to Trader Joe’s sometimes.

and I always get the biggest apples I can find.

(btw the organic tampons freak me out. I guess a flower means vagina.)


Missy January 12, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I’m C and D mostly – but I’d be B if we had a Trader Joes nearby.
And sadly, drafting does make me think NASCAR (yep, I like that AND football!)
I also shop Winn Dixie and then when I can get there, I love Kroger – it’s about 1 hour from me, but I make it a must once a month.


Eden January 12, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Yes, our “Kroger” is called “Ralphs”. I actually go there more often then I’d like to admit. I need my diet soda dammit!


Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning January 12, 2012 at 3:23 pm

hahaha. I got A’s and and one B. Go figure.
I know you HATE Whole Foods, but I love it- I drive 40 minutes to go to the closest Whole Foods and Trader Joes, which are right near each other, but nowhere near me. And they’re in a semi trashy area- which I kind of like
And I drive a Subaru wagon.


Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) January 12, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I was As and Bs mostly. I wish I could shop at either of those grocery stores – both are cheaper than the grocery stores we have in Canada!


The CXO January 12, 2012 at 7:05 pm

I played a different game. I played, “Which Supermarket does Eden associate with A, B, C, and D.” I got A, B, and C correct, but D was tough. After seeing “I usually never say this, but there’s too many frozen burrito options here,” I thought it was 7 Eleven.



Eden January 12, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I think half my readers played that game but don’t want to admit it.
For your information, 711 has a grand total of 3 frozen burrito options. Ralphs has at least 15…although I lost count.


Laura January 12, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Very accurate! I got mostly Ds, and I do the majority of my shopping at my suburban Wegmans. And thanks for the image of splinters in my vagina. I will NEVER buy tampons at Trader Joe’s.

(BTW – Glad I found your blog after seeing it mentioned on GOMI)


Eden January 12, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I’m glad too. A friend of GOMI is a friend of mine 😉
Oh and tampons are less of a crime than getting condoms at traders!


janetha January 13, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Hahaha that’s hilarious that you took the time to make this up. A lot of the questions I didn’t fit into any of the answers.. sigh.. cry..


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