This weekend I saw the much anticipated film “50 Shades of
The book is mediocre at best, and my expectations were the film were low.
To spare you from seeing this film, here’s a rundown:
1. HOW MUCH NUDITY???
Meh, I was expecting more. Basically lots of butt and boobs. The worst part is the bush. There’s just a brief shot of Ana’s pubic area and later a full-frontal. Was to make some sort of statement that she was a virgin or hippie or maybe this is a trend I don’t know about? Anyhow, that’s basically it. You see like a quick glimpse of Christian’s penis but blink once and you’ll miss it.
2. There Is No “Inner Goddess”
The one engendering quality to the movie that we are spared from is Ana’s narration. In the book it involves Ana calling her libido her “inner goddess”. Mostly her inner goddess does a lot of different dances, depending on Ana’s level of sexual excitement, which gives readers an extremely weird mental picture. Thankfully, there is no mention of Ana’s inner goddess in the movie — though her roommate, Kate, does call Ana a goddess once as a compliment.
3. The BDSM Is Not Portrayed Accurately
According to lots of BDSM community members and therapists, the book and movie portrays BDSM inaccurately. This is whole subculture that is watered down and glamorized in the book and movie. There’s a fascinating review of the film by a dominatrix here.
4. Killer Soundtrack
The best part of the film is the music. Danny Elfman wrote some great tracks for the film and Sia’s intoxicating voice once again steals the show.
5. It’s Rather Boring
The trailer of the film is WAY better. I almost fell asleep at how dull and slow moving it was. A lot of intense scenes from the book were not in the film (ahem…tampon scene!). The bondage scenes are tame and there’s plenty of racier and sexier movies out there.
6. It Made Lots of Money And That’s OK!
Boring story aside, I’m glad it did well. This was a huge stride for women in film. It made the most money opening weekend for a film directed by a woman (Sam Taylor-Johnson) in box office history.
More female filmmakers, PLEASE!
To coincide with this review, I dressed up in men’s wear inspired outfits with Mr. Mittens.