Cocoa Rum Monkey Bread and How Facebook Ruined Birthdays

by Eden on September 22, 2011

Facebook ruined sharing good news.
By the time you see your friends there is no point in sharing anymore.
They all know.
I guess the same thing can  be said for Twitter and I’ve heard or been part of this conversation far too many times:
Person 1: “Guess what? I just [insert good news]!”
Person 2: “I know, I saw your message on FB/Twitter.”
Person 1: (loses all enthusiasm for the conversation)
And it ruined birthdays along with good news.
And this is why Facebook ruined birthdays:
It Reminds Us That We Are Unique, Just Like Everybody Else: Facebook will likely say something like this to you:
“Hey, thanks for logging in!
This week, your best friend’s ex-boyfriend, your great aunt once removed, your coworker’s daughter’s tennis instructor, and your neighbor’s pet rock all have birthdays! Would you like to write on their wall!”
If only it were that simple. But go to their wall and boom: you’re not so unique and and you’re not so thoughtful.
Lose Lose: I don’t want to tell people happy birthday anymore because I don’t want to seem like a loser friend, but if I don’t say anything at all then I look like a bad friend. It’s a no-win situation!
Like China and the United States….or a diet cook with a chocolate cake recipe in the back.
It Ruined Birthday Parties Too: When one gets a party invite on facebook, no one wants to commit to going to a party if no one else is going to show up. Everyone waits to see how many people RSVP.  It gets close to the party, and since no one wanted to be the first, everyone thinks that no one is going. Hence they prove themselves right by not showing up and this reinforces my theory that everyone has commitment issues.
You Don’t Want To Care, But You Do: I secretly wanted my Facebook wall to look like Prince William’s Royal Wedding or a U2 concert. Instead, it often resembled tumbleweeds rolling in the abandoned offices of Myspace. To my defense, I didn’t cry.
How has your birthday changed over the years? Have you gotten an actual cool, unconventional facebook birthday wish? Do tell.
Ok, so now that we’ve covered how our birthday’s aren’t so special anymore, lets celebrate with monkey bread. And the recipe couldn’t be any easier:
  • 2 cans of refrigerated buttermilk biscuits
  • 1/4 cup butter, melted (or butter substitute of choice, I like a Belgian brand I get at Trader Joe’s called “Balalde”
  • 1/4 cup sugar (or sweetener of choice, I used stevia)
  • 1/4 brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoons cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon cloves
  • 1/4 tsp cardamom
  • 2 tbs cocoa powder
  • 2 teaspoon rum (or imitation rum)

Icing

  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar
  • approx 3 tbs orange juice (just whisk the two together)
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare pan by applying a thin layer of non-stick spray
  2. In a bowl, mix cinnamon, sugar, brown sugar, cocoa, and spices until well mixed
  3. In a a microwaveable bowl, melt butter.
  4. On a plate, take out the dough from the canisters then create an assembly line with dough, then butter, then cinnamon mix, then bundt pan
  5. Cut the biscuits it quarters and roll into little balls. Roll in butter until covered, then roll into cinnamon mix (generously cover), and then place in bundt pan. No special arrangement needed. They don’t need to be packed because they will expand when baked.
  6. With remaining cinnamon & sugar and butter, mix together and add rum until well mixed. Evenly pour mixture over rolls in bundt pan.
  7. Bake for 40 minutes then remove from oven. Let cool 12-15 minutes then carefully flip bundt pan onto serving plate and remove. Serve with icing.

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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

cindylu September 23, 2011 at 12:12 am

I love this comic on birthdays and FB.

I kinda like the FB greetings. I know I wouldn’t get that many birthday wishes if friends/contacts weren’t prompted. That doesn’t negate that some of the greetings are rather thoughtful, sweet or funny. I got the best notes from family in Mexico, the people I see least often. It wasn’t your usual “happy birthday!” but something more thoughtful. I don’t think I’d get that without FB.

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Eden September 23, 2011 at 12:16 am

good point. Lots (ok, all) of my family lives far away. Australia, London, Israel…its like a UN with my family. So yea, I guess facebook gets us in the loop with the birthdays. But I think I just rather have them send me money ;)

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Jessy (squeezetheday) September 23, 2011 at 12:38 am

You know how else Facebook ruined birthdays? If you are not on FB, people forget about your birthday, as they are so used to relying on it to remind them.

My mom writes the same message on everyone’s wall – ”Happy birthday!”. She even wrote that on my brother’s wall … It’s true that she also wished him a happy birthday in person, but I still thought that was really lame.

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melissanibbles September 23, 2011 at 3:58 am

I couldn’t care less about my birthday. I turn 32 next year and I’m not looking forward to it. Well, not that I’m not looking forward to it, I guess it just doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not going to have a party or anything. Seriously, if you’re 32 and have a birthday party, you need to look at your life, look at your choices!

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Cameo September 23, 2011 at 4:51 am

Haha. I hate having Bday parties. Have since age 7 when my mom (who was going through a church phase) invited all the kids from Sunday school and they all got cake first and I didn’t have fun and I cried. Ever since then, I try to avoid having a party. Now, dinner and drinks are a whole different story! Bring on the deliciousness cuz it’s my BIRTHDAY!

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Eden September 23, 2011 at 6:40 am

Thank you for saying “COULDN’T care less” instead of “could care less”.

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janetha September 23, 2011 at 10:44 am

amen

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janetha September 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

amen

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janetha September 23, 2011 at 10:54 am

i said it twice because your blog was down. and now i am replying again so i can subscribe :P

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Jessica @ Stylish Stealthy and Healthy September 23, 2011 at 5:29 am

I am taking a stance against wishing everyone I’m “friends” with on facebook a happy birthday, just because that haunting little message in the upper right hand corner tells me so. I’m done with it.
HEAR THAT FACEBOOK? Done.

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Eden September 23, 2011 at 6:39 am

I’m done with facebook changing their layout too! Its a new one everyweek. Its acting like such a girl.

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Katy Widrick September 23, 2011 at 5:50 am

Awesome — I’ve spent days loving on Facebook, but you have a good point here. :) I’m working on a post about whether the new Timeline feature will replace blogging.

And my husband is a monkey bread freak, so this is getting bookmarked.

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Missy September 23, 2011 at 7:18 am

Sometimes I write “Get well soon!” or “Congratulations!” or “Happy Anniversary” or “It’s a Boy!” when I can’t think of anything original and meaningful.
99% of my Facebook friends know me so they get it. Not that there is anything to “get” it’s just my habit of being ridiculous.

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Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) September 23, 2011 at 6:40 pm

haha that’s hilarious!

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Sara K September 23, 2011 at 8:33 am

I admit that my ego inflates a bit on my birthday, just to see what interesting mix of people decide to write on my wall; it’s usually a mix of casual friends/acquaintances, family members/friends abroad, and several randoms who i may have not spoken to since the 3rd grade. All my closest friends usually go the phone call/in person/long message/actual paper card route

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Carly September 23, 2011 at 9:05 am

My Mom has Facebook, and finds it acceptable to write Happy Birthday on my FB wall. Really Mom? You’re not cool, and this is not acceptable.

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Amanda September 23, 2011 at 10:58 am

If you don’t comment on my fb on my birthday…i may cry.

Ha, okay not really. P.S. Can I sing to you in a weird voice on your birthday? Is that appropriate?

I hate fb event invites. WHAT THE FUCK? Just call me if you want to hang out. okay?

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janetha September 23, 2011 at 11:06 am

thank you! i don’t look at half of my event invitations, and then when i run into someone and they ask why i didn’t come to their birthday/going away/engagement party and i tell them i didn’t know about it, they reply with “i sent you a facebook invite!” …oh, i’m sorry, i didn’t know that was the social norm for party invites. what about people who don’t have facebook or don’t look at it?

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Lindsay @ Lindsay's List September 23, 2011 at 11:44 am

amen! AND just because I said I’d be your friend on FB, doesn’t mean we’re BFF. FB friendships mean almost nothing. (except ours).

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Eden September 23, 2011 at 1:30 pm

in all seriousness since your birthday is “this” close to mine, you wanna hang out?

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janetha September 23, 2011 at 11:03 am

i have had this conversation with my mom and with marshall a lot. even if you don’t put what you have been up to on your facebook, someone else has. you will run into a friend and they will know that you just got back from a trip and ask how (insert place here) was. it’s really annoying that they already know what you have been up to! i try to post as little on my personal facebook as possible. i use it for the blog but rarely for personal stuff. i also rarely look at other people’s pages because i would rather catch up with them in person and it’s a little weird to know EVERYTHING they have been doing.

the worst is when you run into someone and ask them what they have been up to and they shoot you this offended look because you DON’T KNOW?! HAVEN’T YOU LOOKED AT MY FACEBOOK?!?! that happens to me a lot.

i only wish people a happy birthday on facebook if 1-i dont have their phone number to tell them and 2-i have talked to them within the last, oh, year at least. it is so generic when i get people from high school wishing me a happy birthday on facebook–and that’s the ONLY time they say anything to me on there. the rest of the time they are just behind the scenes lurking.. i wonder why i am “friends” with them in the first place. i have actually deleted a lot of people from high school and the next day they will request to be my friend again! how the shit did they know i deleted them so quickly?! and how shameless to just request over and over…weird.

one more rant–facebook WEDDING event invites. “You have been invited to an event: Josh and Sally are Tying the Knot!” and then they use Facebook to talk about their wedding and collect ALL their friends’ and relatives’ addresses in a public forum. WTF? If you demand to have a facebook group/event for your big day, am not coming to your wedding.

phew. thanks for that.

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Eden September 23, 2011 at 1:29 pm

I hate when someone is like “DON’T YOU KNOW?! HAVEN”T YOU BEEN READING MY BLOG?!?!?!”
no, I have not…and thats probably why ;)

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Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) September 23, 2011 at 6:43 pm

I guess I’d be in the dark about everyone except you. No facebook, no blogs, no info. Oh well.

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Kristy Lynn @ Gastronomical Sovereignty September 23, 2011 at 11:43 am

at the risk of being douchy, for my 30th last year my partner took me to Spain. Oh yeah, Spain.

PS. I HAVE noticed that since facebook, the gifting of real birthday cards has decreased. like, a quick e-happy birthday note on your wall is friendly enough. Bitch please. Take some time out of your day (a whopping 20 minutes) to walk to the store, pick out a card, and write something nice (or not) inside. Anyone can post “happy birthday” on my wall – only my real friends actually get me cards.

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Kristy Lynn @ Gastronomical Sovereignty September 23, 2011 at 11:44 am

PPS. And what is with texting happy birthday to your nearest and dearest these days?!! Pick up the fucking phone and call me for 2 minutes you lazy techno-idiots!

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Eden September 23, 2011 at 1:27 pm

personally, I prefer calls to texts. I trust voices. I mean, you can be a robot for all I know.

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Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) September 23, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Yeah, I do try to post the Happy Birthdays on peoples’ walls even if it is very generic. And the only reason that this happens is because the b-day notifications come into my inbox. If someone invited me to something or announced their wedding (what?) on FB I’d never know about it unless it was emailed to me b/c I’m on Facebook strike.

By the way, I saw on the news that FB changed its wall or newsfeed and that people are up in arms!! Wooo! hahah.

By the way, things are gonna get a bit crazy from here on out so I might be awol for a bit- not sure. Love you though!

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Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) September 23, 2011 at 6:47 pm

PS I’ve never had monkey rolls ever in my life. they look amazing.

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Pure2raw twins September 25, 2011 at 9:36 am

haha great post!! it is funny how things like FB can ruin life’s little pleasures :)

love monkey bread! a childhood favorite

xoxo
Michelle

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Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) September 27, 2011 at 9:33 pm

The older I get the more I don’t care about my birthday …

Also, I never really understood people who just looooooooooved their birthday. It always seemed self-absorbed to me.

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