Chocolate Crystalized Ginger Cookies and Emoticon Translations

by Eden on May 5, 2011

I have a love/hate relationship with emoticons. Sometimes I like em, like when I use them to say things like

“There’s no way I’m paying that parking ticket, so up yours! {:-D”

However, there are always those select few that really don’t make any sense at all, so I’ve given you my own interpretations:

%-)   I have a severe physical disorder that causes one eye to be significantly higher than the other.  However, I am smiling becuase in this life and we create our own happiness, people.

:-E    Grrr. I’m a vampire. Grrrr.

<:-3  I have a curly moustache! This is exciting and also slightly worrisome.
(:3=   Am I the walrus? Who is the Eggman?

;-P   Come here, lover boy, have I got plans for you later!

:v     I wish I were pacman.

$-D  Someone has forced a spear through my eyes and for some reason I’m laughing because I have peculiar ways of dealing with pain. Or I’m just Jewish.

:- {}  I just got lip injections

Z    “Zorro” was here

O:)  I’m a virgin

I know, deep stuff, right?

Any emoticons you wish to translate? Let’s hear em.

Well its been forever and a year since I regurgitated a recipe. So here’s one to hold you over. It’s been like 100 degrees in LA so I really deserve a medal for baking in this heat.

  • 1 stick of butter (or half cup fake butter of choice)
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar (or fake sugar of choice)
  • 1/2 cup coconut flour (use 1 cup all purpose if you think coconut flour tastes like suntan lotion)
  • 1/2 cup all purpose flour (or brown rice flour if gluten is your devil)
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 cup crystallized ginger
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (thank you Deb for giving me the Hershey’s Special Dark!)
  • 1 cup white chocolate chips (or any random thing you like throwing into your cookies. Hell, throw pot for all I care)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. In a large mixing bowl beat butter with an electric mixer on medium speed for 30 seconds. Beat in brown sugar until well combined. Beat in egg and vanilla until combined. In a medium bowl whisk together flours, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt; beat into sugar mixture. Stir in white chocolate.

2. Drop dough by slightly rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart onto prepared cookie sheets. Top Bake about 12 minutes or just until edges are set. Let cool 1 minute on cookie sheets. Transfer cookies to wire rack to cool. Makes about 24 small cookies


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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Amanda May 5, 2011 at 6:08 am

Is it inappropriate that the curly mustache reminds me of….balls?

Um the walrus? I am totally using that. I am an emoticon abuser to the core.

I’ve been avoiding turning on the oven due to this heat. You do deserve a medal.

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edenseats May 5, 2011 at 6:20 am

yay! lets bring back the walrus!

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AlisonM May 5, 2011 at 11:31 am

Man, I have never seen any of these before! I’m afraid I’m a bit traditional when it comes to emoticons. I might steal some of these and use them on a friend who finds any kind of internet speak offensive. That should wind her up good and proper!

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lindsay May 5, 2011 at 11:54 am

bring back the walrus! love it. and baking in the heat, Gold stars for EDEN! I never thought to use gnger and chocolate, thats why you are the brilliant chef my dear. ;)

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Joanne May 5, 2011 at 12:01 pm

I have definitely wondered about some of these. And now, thanks to you, I’ll be able to use them effectively. Although this one: O:) will never be making it into my texts or gchats or tweets. Too bad I didn’t realize what it meant eight years ago.

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Missy May 5, 2011 at 12:18 pm

{:€ this is my Italian man

}:€ this is my mad devil face or }:<

<o conehead!!!

I love the "Jewish" one and lip injections – too funny!

I've never used crystalized ginger as I wouldn't even begin to know where to look for it. Hmm and mixed with pot….. {:D (my goofy ha ha face!)

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edenseats May 5, 2011 at 2:39 pm

you can get crystallized ginger near the dried fruits. Or just ask, most supermarkets actually carry it.

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Kath (My Funny Little Life) May 5, 2011 at 1:15 pm

I love your emoticons, especially the first, eye-cluttered one. :D

This is a freaky one:

8-|

Me at the end of the day. ;)

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Molly May 5, 2011 at 3:32 pm

“%-) I have a severe physical disorder….” lmao

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Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) May 5, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Hee, these are hilarious!

Here’s my Oh No Mr Bill one:
:-o

And my “oh man I’m such a dorkus” one (like did I really send that email to the wrong person!!):
:-?

I have a thingy of crystallized ginger that I bought about a hundred years ago. What’s the shelf life 200 yrs?

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edenseats May 5, 2011 at 6:25 pm

I’m gonna go with more than luna bars ;)

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Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) May 5, 2011 at 3:38 pm

OK that’s hilarious, I guess that both of my emoticons are “Real” because your blog just made them into little yellow faced pictures! hee, I must really BE someone!

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edenseats May 5, 2011 at 6:25 pm

I know, wtf?

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BrocStar May 5, 2011 at 4:28 pm

<:3 reminds me of an italian chef.

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Gillian May 5, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Those are my dream cookies – chocolate and candied ginger are the ultimate combination! Marry me?

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missymiller May 5, 2011 at 6:42 pm

“Or I’m just Jewish.”
Only you, Eden. Only you.
LMAO..Z.

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edenseats May 5, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Thankfully, I’m 120% Jew so I can say that and not get pelted with pennies.

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Olivia May 5, 2011 at 8:17 pm

These look super super great; and I’ve never seen the virgin one…haha kinda funny actually!

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edenseats May 5, 2011 at 8:19 pm

ITs supposed to be an angle. But I’m going with virgin.

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edenseats May 5, 2011 at 8:19 pm

whoa, did I say “angle” I meant “angel”

On Thu, May 5, 2011 at 1:19 PM, Eden Dranger wrote: > ITs supposed to be an angle. But I’m going with virgin. >

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Mimi May 6, 2011 at 1:22 am

I have a small collection I use frequently. But your translated ones are far more amusing. I’m partial to O_O;, O_o, >_<, and XD. And :-P (no wink!) describes my response in a lot of chats.

The emoticon I HATE is the sunglasses one. Because it always interferes when someone writes a numbered list.

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Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) May 6, 2011 at 4:52 am

I know absolutely nothing about emoticons, and have never used any besides:
:-)
:-(
;-)

Don’t know what any of the other ones mean!

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