I can barely move and literally (yes, literally) stayed at home for the past few days.
I did nothing productive but write this post, which really isn’t that productive. Its actually kind of pathetic.
Here’s things you do when you stay in home sick as an adult:
1) Tell Everyone via Twitter, Instagram, Facebook
Just don’t actually see anyone. Stay quarantined and soak in the alone time. Don’t infect others you germy cesspool!
2) Google “What Do I Do When I Have The Flu”
And totally get frustrated that for a billion years, its the same shit (fluids, rest, soup).
3) Watch TV
I caught up on season 2 for “Girls” (aka, Lena Dunham porno)
And if Girls isn’t your thing, Family Guy never fails.
4) Feel Guilty You The Most Physical Activity You Did Was Cough
Seriously, if I wore a pedometer, it would’ve read “hahahah” by the end of the day.
What sucks when you’re sick is that your eyes are read, you’re lethargic, and everyone then assumes your high.
Only you have little to no appetite.
So the lack of physical activity doesn’t sound so bad. Go ahead, pedometer, laugh all you want.
5) Vow to Always Purell the Shit Out Of Your Hands and Take Vitamin C Everyday from Now On
And totally break that vow once you’re all better and continue to gamble with your health forgetting how terrible it is to be sick. You’ll get right back to licking your fingers, touching all sorts of surfaces, and choosing beer over an Emergen-C.
Because, you know, YOLO (and that will be the first and last time I ever use that acronym).
What do you do when your home with the flu? Do you take time off work? Are you “good” about being sick and taking care of yourself?