I’m female, and not ashamed of it in the least.
But even my own gender sometimes totally baffles me. I’m not even a “tomboy” or whatever and I have the skirts, dresses, and curling irons to prove it.
I bet a lot of my readers do this so don’t hate me, maybe just explain to me why you do them.
Let’s examine:
1) Going to the Bathroom with other girls
I get it, its a great time to gossip or whatever. I like gossiping too, its horrible but so am I.
However, the bathroom is NOT somewhere I like to do it.
“Let’s all go gossip and judge each others’ butt noises!”
I don’t know about you, but I like “doing my business” alone. I get self conscious about the sounds, the pee-steam noise, the smell, everything! I just think its something everyone should be entitled to do solo.
2) Decorative Pillows
Yea, what a waste of space!
Actually most “decorative” items kind of baffle me.
“Hey, lets get some decorative food to put in our fridge. It won’t spoil and it will make us think we have food in our fridge when we don’t. How awesome is that?!”
Yea, its not awesome.
Its pointless.
3) Eat Special K
I have yet to see a man consume Special K and I really don’t see what’s so “Special” about it anyway. It’s just a bunch of slightly sweetened flakes. Nothing says. “I am woman, hear me crunch ‘weight loss’ cereal because I hate my thighs” quite like the crunch of a Special K.
Pass me the corn flakes.
4)”Gangsta Photos”
I have no idea why my facebook feed is flooded with girls dressed in something they could wear to brunch with their arms up like some sort of lame gangster sign.
You’re not a “thug”. Now go back to your pilates class.
5) Have a “Wedding Board”
More women than men use Pinterest to begin with, but I have yet to find a man that has a board dedicated to the intricate details of his nuptials.
Personally, I don’t even think I’ll find a square peg to fit my round whole so this whole wedding planning thing seems like a waste of time to begin with. Also, if you’re thinking more about the wedding than you do about being married something is wrong. The wedding lasts a day, you’re marriage is meant to last until you can hire a divorce lawyer.
If you’re prepping for the wedding day so far ahead without being engaged, you’re probably more interested in the lame details no one even remembers than you are about the actual marriage.
What do a lot members of your gender do that you can’t seem to get into? If you do anything mentioned, why (no seriously, why?).
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Argh, too many pillows drive me nuts. I had a boyfriend who had like twenty on his bed and it was very annoying.
I am guilty if going to the bathroom with a friend to discuss what we wanted to do the rest of the evening or gossip about the menfolk though. And it helps to have backup when you find yourself in a stall with no toilet paper.
I definitely have “decorative” pillows I put that in quotes though because I have them in the living room on the chaise and the sofa because I like pillows and I use them to get comfy (a twice broken back needs all the help it can get).
And as for things I don’t get that other women do.. Makeup, I’m just not talented enough an artist to figure out how to put crayon on my face and look like anything other than bozo
Honestly, youtube taught me almost everything about makeup application (as well as how to change a tire and do my hair). I’d be clown if I didn’t watch youtube tutorials for makeup.
Two you’re/your mistakes in one post? C’mon, Eden. A little effort, please. I know you struggle with grammar, but this is third grade stuff.
I’m just the worst.
I didn’t get into the wedding pinboard until I got engaged. now it pins things that I will be using during my wedding and that is it.
and I like decorative pillows. They provide cushiony spaces for my cats to lay. Therefore, they are pretty cat beds.
I find though that most people that have decorative pillows don’t like it when other people use it for other purposes though! Like I was laying on one at my family friend’s house and she was all, “Oh, could you remove the decorative pillows and lay on the normal ones? Thanks!”
WTF?
Guilty of two out of five. I’ve done the gangster photo, but only throwing a W for Westside. Since I’m a person of color, it’s allowed.
I had a wedding board on Pinterest, but was actually planning a wedding. I don’t know if I get a pass for that. I didn’t create it before getting engaged.
I don’t get a billion and 1 selfies and shoes that look and maybe feel like torture devices.
I must be awesome because I don’t do any of these things. Bathroom together, no thanks! Decorative pillows, I have a mastiff so that’s just a waste of money. Special K..special what? I may have thrown a gang sign up in a random photo but not on a regular basis. I went to flash some sign at my Dad once when he took my photo and ended up flipping him off. Awwkward. Wedding board, fuck that! I would rather have an ‘where will I elope’ board.
Special K Chocolate Chip is awesome!!! I eat it with my godfather’s kids.
I didnt know girls actually used the bathroom in packs, I thought they just rounded their girlfriends up and went in there to talk shit about their dates
I will eat any and all types of cereal, so I have eaten Special K, but it’s definitely not my first choice (my dad eats either Special K or Cheerios for breakfast because he likes extremely bland food, so I usually end up eating Special K when I visit my parents). The flavored kinds, like vanilla almond and oats & honey, are good. The berry Special K grosses me out, though; the strawberries are freeze-dried, ick.
I have “decorative” pillows that are comfortable, and we rest on them each night when we snuggle/watch TV
Haha – but I don’t understand decorative items unless they are functional, or super cool like my phrenology head.