People mispronounce words all the time.
“Febyuar”, “subliminable’, “nucular” (George Bush has recurring problem with that one)
Food is no exception.
It doesn’t make people stupid, ignorant, illiterate, or ass holes.
Actually, it might make them all of the above but it really depends on the words.
Like if you insist on saying “Qwa-sahnt” (pronunciation of “croissant”) and you aren’t French, I might hit you.
So let’s examine some of the commonly mispronounced foods and see whether or not a pretentious nasally vowel at the end is needed or not in order to be considered an ass.
Ass Hole Scale: 1 being innocent mistake and 10 being assy McAsshole.
Macaron
What it is: A filled almond sandwich cookie in a wide range of colors and flavors (ie see David Leibovitz’s keptchup macaroons)
mispronunciation: maa-kuh-ROON
How people should pronounce it: mah-kah-ROHN
Ass hole mispronunciation factor: 8. I’ve upped the ass hole factor on this because a ‘maa-huh-ROON” are those coconut kosher for passover cookies that I think shouldn’t be considered cookies because they taste like something that should be called “gritty-coconut-flavored-clusterfuck”.
Crêpe
What it is: A flat, soft pancake usually filled with nutella,bananas, powdered sugar, whipped cream, or some sort of delicious liquor.
mispronunciation: c-RAY-p
How people should pronounce it: c-REH-p
Ass hole mispronunciation factor: 4. This isn’t so terrible but still annoying because it sounds like “crap” and a delicious pancake filled with carbs is anything but “crap”.
Chipotle
Pronounced: Chee-poht-leh
Usually mispronounced as: Chi-pot-l
Ass hole mispronunciation factor: 10. Now that America’s largest burrito chain uses this name, I find that most people actually say Chi-pot-lay which isn’t as terrible. But when I hear “Chi-pot-l”, I take them aside, give them a quick lesson, and make fun of them.
Sriracha
What it is: a super popular South East Asian hot sauce that you should try putting in a spray bottle like my crafty friend.
mispronunciation: s-REE-rah-ch-ah
How people should pronounce it: SHRee-ra-cha, “rooster sauce”
Ass hole mispronunciation factor: 3. I think I’m going easy on this one because I’ve been calling it “sri-” since last year when my Asian friend yelled at me. Sorry for being so white and Jewish.
Fage
What it is: a trendy, thick, yogurt that makes me question the whole economic crisis since this shit sells out of Trader Joe’s within an hour.
mispronunciation: Fah-GEE, fay-j, fah-geh, fah-geh-t, “that-super-thick-yogurt-thingy-that-I-have-no-idea-how-to-pronounce”
How people should pronounce it: Fah-YAY
Ass hole mispronunciation factor: 1. This one I’m leaving innocent because 11 out of 10 people will mispronounce this and I still want to have some readers by the end of this post and I don’t want all of you thinking that you’re ass holes.
What other foods do you find people or even YOU mispronounce? Does it bother you? Do you correct people?
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
OMG, bruschetta and satay. People pronounce these two words all kinds of way (except the correct way) and it drives me insane!
These are pretty good! I admittedly didn’t know the sriracha or fage ones, but I haven’t ever had to say them out loud. I just felt like a dummy when I said them in my head! What really drives me nuts is when people say “chi-pole-tay” instead of chipotle.
The beer Hoegaarden…it is pronounced much closer to “who-garden” than “ho-garden.” The only time it has bothered me is when I asked for a “who-garden” and the waitress corrected me…”oooh….you mean a ho-garden?”
And I never say Sriracha right, so I usually stick with calling it hot sauce.
YES! My dad was Belgian and it drove both of us NUTS that people mispronounced one of the best beers in the world.
Ha! Great list, plus one of my favorite pass times is rating ass holes on their assholishness.
The only thing I’d change might be increasing the Fage rating to about a 3, just because I feel like an ass for *always* forgetting how to say it, in spite of the fact that they print the pronunciation directly on the side of the container.
Also? I followed you over here from your comment on Abby’s blog. You’re funny – I hope you’re on the market for new stalkers, because you have one.
ha, I never realized it was on the container. I guess the greek yogurt folks must think we’re all idiots.
I would make the “Fage” mispronunciation a Level 10 offense because the phonetic spelling is right on the container.
Another often mispronounced food is the beer “Smithwicks”, which is pronounced “Smiddicks” but most people say it just how it’s spelled.
I often mispronounce bruchetta because I feel like an ass saying “bruscetta” because I don’t have an ounce of italian in me.
I have been corrected by others when I pronounce crepe correctly… they say “oh, you mean crapes?” ugh.
I feel like an ass saying “bruscetta”. I feel too much like Giada DeLarentiis
I agree.
The Chipotle one really hurts me only because I think I know something about Nahuatl words that have been adopted by Spanish. To be fair, the “tl” is odd linguistically fluent in Mexican Spanish. The “tl” is all over Nahuatl (example my longtime email/AIM name, citlalli see-tlah-lee = star).
Quinoa is a funny one. I corrected a friend once on its pronunciation (keen-war) and as I did realised how poncy I sounded!
Haha, um, Fage is definitely not pronounced ‘fah’ ‘yay.’
I’m not sure what it says on the container? I’m Greek and in greek our ‘g’ sound is called a gamma.. and it is a mix between a g and a y sound.. quite hard to say.. so I guess i can understand where the ‘yay’ came from? But I just dont know lol.. we say ‘fah’ ‘ge’ (with the g sounding like a soft g and slight y)
THANK YOU! I was waiting for a Greek person to chime in! PLease yell at the Fage people for writing that on the container.
Well according to your scale factor I am not too big of an asshole. Only occasionally in my head.
On the ass hole scale from 1 to the wicked witch of the west, I’m the witch..
How about espresso pronounced express-oh? I fear I may do this occasionally.
I confess I say croissant the French way, but it is not my fault. My mom was a French teacher who loved them so I was raised saying kwa-san before I even knew how to spell the word.
Heh, my M-I-L calls it “sree-rah-chee”. What??
I also hate when people call focaccia “foh-kuh-chee-uh”. Yeesh.
I’m mildly annoyed when people say “pierogis” because “pierogi” is already plural.
I am annoyed by most people when they order off of a menu at a Mexican or Japanese restaurant … most of the time something gets mispronounced.
Also, the Irish beer Smithwicks is often mispronounced.
You’re fucking hilarious. Just thought I’d let you know!
As long as I’m “fucking” hilarious and not just “hilarious”. I need a “fucking” in there
You could call the rooster sauce “spicy cock sauce” as my sister does. Haha
tell your sister she’s solved my problem.