In honor of “Flashback Friday” (and because I really couldn’t think of anything else to write about today), I thought I’d review some common phrases I was told as a kid that ended up being total bullshit.
1) “If you get good grades, it means you’re smart”
If you got an “A” on something, it meant one of two things:
1) you know how to memorize a textbook
2) you know how to cheat without getting caught
Getting good grades DOES NOT translate into intelligence. Most of the kids with the good grades in my elementary school never won Oregon Trail.
Idiots.
2) “You’re punished, therefore you need to go to bed NOW!!!!”
I don’t normally “LOL”.
But, LOL!!!!!!!
3) “You can be anything you want!”
I really wish teachers would’ve cut the BS and told us:
“You can be anything you want to be, but you won’t.”
If kids REALLY became anything they wanted, there would be far too many ninjas and fairy princesses roaming around. Don’t even get me started on the firemen and astronauts. The closest to being an astronaut is an engineering degree with a desk job at NASA. The closest to a “movie star” is being in a lame YouTube video that goes viral for about five seconds until the next “celebrity sex tape” gets leaked.
So, listen kids: don’t become “anything you want”.
Unless you really do want to make a sex tape…..go for it! Dream big!
4) “Hoover Dam is SO much fun!”
I really don’t need to explain this.
Is an inferno where childhood fantasies of vacation go to die.
But for those that don’t understand why Hoover Dam is so terrible, go see “Vegas Vacation”.
What BS were you told when you were a kid? What would you tell kids these days to be more straight forward about life?
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
“You can be anything you want”.
My wife’s degree is in English Literature. She hasn’t written the great American novel yet and worked as an office manager. She also basically minored in Geology. So what does all that mean for me in summary?
I get to carry a shitload of books and rocks when we move. Nope, she couldn’t have studied pillows.
My parents were actually pretty good with not bull-shitting me. As for being whatever you want to be I think that’s part of why I became an actor-I get to be lots of different stuff at least for a little while.
But we all know my Ninja skills are just outta control.
i was obviously told the typical Easter bunny, Satan Claus baloney.
Oh and i love this: if it doesn’t kill you, it will make you strong???
—Maybe that ain’t bullshit but it just doesn’t sound very true.