Its been a long ass while since I’ve written about eating disorders.
I guess it’s a good sign because it I do feel more and more removed from that former life of mine. I often can’t believe I used to be like that and thought eating bland, “healthy”, and airy food once a day was totally ok.
However, I still feel sensitive to witnessing other people’s food/exercise issues. I compare them to how I used to act when I was deep in the trenches of an eating disorder. The most fascinating to me is the lies that people with eating disorders tend to say and do.
So here is a list of some of the lies I’ve heard from eating disordered encounters over the years:
1. “Oh my god, that rice cake was so filling. Here, do you want the rest of this?”
If its not a rice cake, its a salad, fro yo, diet soda, gum, smog….
Shut the fuck up. You are not “full”. You’re full of shit.
And no, I don’t want the rest of it unless its chocolate or bacon.
2. I baked cupcakes! I’m not hungry, but please, have one!
People with eating disorders can put “expert food pusher” on their resume.
They love creating decadent foods, push them on their friends, while they will stand in the corner and nibble on broccoli.
I think they’re not-so-secretly trying to get me fat so they’ll look even thinner than they already do in comparison. Personally, I never got into the food pushing thing when I was sick and not because I didn’t love baking (I did) but because I think I’m just a selfish bitch.
not all ED people are greedy. Its just me.
3. “I’m just naturally emaciated”
There are some, very few, very envied people on this planet that can eat like Michael Phelps but are as sendentary as bean bag chair.
More than likely, a person who’s emaciated and shady about food isn’t one of them.
4. “No really, I just love to exercise!”
No, you don’t.
An addiction to exercising can be just another way to conceal an eating disorder. Becoming obsessed with Zumba, for example, can make it look like you’re just being healthy when you’re actually doing it to burn major calories.
“I just love dancing Zumba! Can’t stop dancing! Please don’t stop the music!”
“I naturally love doing this all day. I swear!”
Not only do you sound and look ridiculous, but no one will believe you.
5. “This pizza/cookie/hamburger/yummy-thing tastes weird….I don’t want it anymore”
These are the folks that will try to prove to you that they can go to a restaurant and order something that’s not a salad. But don buy this whole, “it tastes weird” lie!
It tastes weird because it tastes like calories.
Have you heard lies from eating disordered people? Have you ever lied? Spill it.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Ack, I was the worst of the food pushers. And now when I push and don’t eat(which I really do strive not to do)it is not because I’m not hungry but either because I have saved a massive honking piece of whatever I made to eat right before I go to bed so I don’t spend the rest of the evening thinking about the calories, or because I made it the night before and ate a piece before passing out(no calorie obsessing in my dreams) and need not to obsess about the rest now. At least I do eat what I make at some point, and this is not always what happens. And I have gotten better about this and dealing with the food worry issues(I’m a sometimes restaurant reviewer so my paycheck depends on daytime eating, haha) but I’m not always perfect.
Eek. I think your blog is one of the few places I’ve revealed that. That felt good-ish.
Oh my Christ, I HATED the calorie obsessing dreams. I used to dream I ate a burger or cake and then freaked the hell out. Waking up was always a relief, but there were moments of ‘did that happen!?’
What a waste of my nights. Last night I dreamt I was chatting up Dean Winchester from Supernatural. Infinitely better dream.
I once dreamt I ate a carton of Ben and Jerry’s. Not the ice cream, the ACTUAL carton. Talk about messed up dream!
The always classic “I forgot to eat.”
Ha, i think every eating disordered person lies at one point or another. You need to be deceptive to maintain the disorder, because the behaviours are just not normal and you need to come up with some dumbass bullshit explanation for them. Unless of course you go around telling people you have an ED, which in my experience, is extremely uncommon. I know everyone lies, but it still annoys me when the disordered peeps lie to me, because who do they think they’re trying to fool? I know all the tricks. Don’t tell me you have “food allergies” or “tummy troubles”. Yeah yeah, some people legitimately have these things, but I can spot an ED bullshitter a mile away. And yeah, totally, the food pushers are trying to make everyone else fat. Bitches
Omigosh…I was the queen of the expert food pushers. I even started a cookie baking company because I was baking so many damn cookies for people. The problem is, I kept baking them so I could live vicariously through others. I figured that if my house smelled like calories, it was just as good as eating them…turns out that I was lying to myself: calories are kind of delicious.
Calories are fucking awesome.
Possibly cooler than carbs.
What if you have both an eating disorder (or a this point, as I’m a normal weight, disordered eating) and a GI disease? I do… I’m not making it up, I had to have emergency surgery in March for a perforated ulcer. Want to create a real clusterfuck, get your GI doctor to talk to Renfrew about the eating restrictions that are actually required, or might be required, or hm we don’t actually know what foods she can tolerate or not but it might be IBS or it might be gastritis or it might be lactose and fructose intolerance.
The thing is, I totally do have ritualized eating patterns and feel the need to eat only food I have prepared. Part of that is classic ED behavior, aka an emotional thing. And part of it is rational and related to not wanting to hurt myself physically. I am not scared of butter (well, too much yes, but I’ll have some with breakfast), but I am scared of foods that are low-calorie and healthy, like apples, kale, asparagus, and sweet peppers, which all make me very sick even in small quantities but I don’t know WHY.
ARGH.
why? there is no reason why. EDs don’t make sense. If they made sense, it wouldn’t be a disease. I’m sorry you had to deal with all that. I personally cant stomach a lot of raw veggies so I somewhat understand what you mean.
Ugh, Sam, that sounds awful. I’m sorry you have to deal with the dual wonders of an ED and a body that wants to rebel against you. There’s probably a good reason for the GI trouble…some people can’t tolerate certain foods because of a leaky gut or things like SIBO. Check out chriskresser.com…he’s got a lot of really amazing resources for people who want to understand the “why” behind the crap that’s going on with their GI troubles (among other things). Part of my recovery has been helped by just going out and researching the “why” behind the things that were going on physiologically…Anyway, I hope that helps a bit, and that things get easier for you soon!
Well you know I come out of commenting lurkdom on this! Yrs I’ve told lies and still do to an extent – but I’m pretty open about it for the most part. I have pushed food away feigning “fullness” or queasiness when out places where I am not comfortable.
I definitely love to make food for others, mainly desserts. I’m not trying to make them fat; I guess I do it so I can see their enjoyment since I won’t eat it. Very weird. But I’ve never tried on purpose to make them fat. I also have liked the praise of how good those Biscoff oatmeal cookies were. Sad I know.
Oh and the whole “I love to exercise” mantra – I call BS on 95% of it. Yeah there may be a few who aren’t disordered and love it (endorphins) but mine obsession was another form of my ED – same endorphin rush/great love because I was burning calories, yahoo. I don’t really love hardcore exercise; I love my walks outside in fresh air which are great for stress, but running? Eeekk! I only did it to burn cals. People who work out multiple times a day, I just personally think they have issues. Sorry if you are one of the few who truly love it but I can’t help my thoughts (based on me). Adding to that, I can spot EDs and BS excuses a mile away too. It’s sad how pervasive it is. Naturally all of these people aren’t full blown ED’s but I think there’s alot more EDNOS out there than people want to admit. Most HLB’s fall in this category as well.
I think another popular one is the “food allergy” one. I’ll admit, many, many times in my day I said I was “allergic” to fast food (just that m stomach would freak out, basically.” The hard part is, that sometimes really rich foods DO give my stomach grief. I have cystic fibrosis, which includes GI issues if I don’t take my meds. Once you’ve lied enough people don’t tend to believe you. If I told my parents that I honestly thought not eating lactose or gluten would be beneficial to my CF, they’d give me the “uh huh, suuuuuuuuure….” look.
To be very honest, I never knew anyone with an eating disorder until I started ready healthy living blogs. It’s so foreign to me because I have always just ate whatever and not given a shit. Sure, I have weight to me. That just means I only get hit on by..well I don’t want to offend anyone.
Does my hatred against all green food count as an eating disorder..?
Definitely been guilty of all of those at some point in my life.
Another one I’ve pulled often was the “I don’t have time to sit down for meals” excuse. I actually tried to use that on my psychologist very early on in my treatment. She started in on a lecture about “Plenty of busy people eat enough. If you get X and Y and put them in your backpack, that’s 500 calories…” cuing an angry, bony fist slam from me, hissing “But I don’t WANT 500 calories!”
Cuing a deadpan from the therapist: “Well that’s the most honest thing you’ve said so far, but I’m afraid you’re shit out of luck.” I really, really miss that therapist (no I’m not being sarcastic).