I think learning to speak another language is pretty awesome.
I was blessed to have a father that speaks six languages fluently.
Fun Random Eden Fact: My parents rarely spoke to me in English growing up. I didn’t even know they spoke English until I head them speak to a grocery store clerk. My dad spoke to me mainly in Hebrew and a little French, a little Dutch sometimes. My mom spoke to me in Hebrew and sometimes a little German because she pretended to know German although she really couldn’t speak it very well.
As an adult, I’m so grateful for this. Speaking another language makes you seem more intelligent not to mention, kinda hot (depending on the language). Have you seen Bradley Cooper whoring out his new movie in France lately? I’ve bumped into him at my gym a few times, and yes, although easy on the eyes, I never thought of swooning over him. He reminded me of that frat guy that would try to roofie your drink. Well, that frat image shattered thanks to his second language:
Don’t worry. I’m sure most of you wouldn’t care if he’s talking about how to make oatmeal but hes basically saying how he learned french as a study abroad student in France…and he’s kinda hitting on the TV presenter. Ahh…. still a frat boy at heart!
Anyhow, I could teach you all French. But many of you probably know some French or took it in school.
But how many of you speak Hebrew? I see no hands raised. So this is your lucky day. I will introduce you to some very key words:
This phrase has no literal translation into English. Its sort of like “come on already” or if your waiting for a reply and you say, “and….”. It shows impatience and frustration. Often uttered by frustrated parents and very sexually dissatisfied couples.
Benzona (b-eh-n z-oh-na):
The literal translation is “son of a whore” and used the way Americans use “son of a bitch”. But I guess us Hebrews cherish our female dogs so it wouldn’t be much of a let down to call someone “son of a female dog.” I mean, who doesn’t secretly wish their mom was Lassie?
Balagan (B-ah-l-ah-g-ah-n) :
A mess or extremely tangled situation. A good way to describe your room or a soap opera. Or Whitney Houston’s and Bobby Brown’s relationship….
I know, it looks like the hybrid of Ma and stool which is laughable. But this means “stoned” and often yelled, “What are you, stoned?!”. Although, like in French, there is a masculine and feminine so the feminine would be “Mastoola” which is even more laughable than “Mastool”.
Cool or “that’s cool”. Lets use it in a sentence:
Ugh! I hang out with the Karadashians for a night and I test positive for an STD! So not sababa!
This is actually stolen from Arabic. Modern Hebrew (not the biblical one) has many words stolen from other languages and Arabic included. This word means”like totally”. Lets use this example:
Can I take you home and get in your pants?
Pajamas (guess where we stole that from)
French fries (not potato chips), and guess where we stole THAT from?
If you would excuse me, I need to couche avec Bradley.
Do you speak other languages fluently (no, not “where is the bathroom”). I’m thinking of maybe doing this Hebrew lesson every week. Thoughts? Its rather useless but somewhat amusing.
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt or sea salt (plus a little extra to sprinkle on top)
- 2/3 cup milk of choice (or water, but milk is better, I used 2% from the cow)
- 2 tablespoons chilled butter or butter alternative, cut into small pieces
- 1 tablespoon dried rosemary (crushed with your hands)
- Preheat your oven to 450°F. I know, thats hot. Hotter than a French speaking Bradley Cooper
- Using a food processor or mixer, mix the flour, sugar, rosemary, and salt until combined.
- Add the pieces of chilled butter and process until the butter is no longer discernible in the mixture, a few seconds.
- With the food processor on, add the milk/water and process until the dough comes together.
- Turn dough out on a floured surface and knead for 5-6 minutes.
- Shape into a ball and cut in half.
- Roll out one half of dough on an inverted baking pan. I used a half sheet size pan and rolled out as thinly as I could until the dough came close to the edges of the pan. Repeat for the second half.
- Sprinkle with more salt on top
- Pierce the surface of the dough with a fork and score it with a knife into serving size pieces.
- Bake on the sheet pan for 8-12 minutes (depending on their thickness), making sure to rotate the pan halfway through the cooking time.
- Take out of the oven and allow to rest on the pan for a few minutes then transfer to a wire rack to cool.