In April, I began my journey to take action about my diagnosis of the breast cancer gene (BRCA 1) and had a preventative double mastectomy. As I explained here, my first surgery (in April) consisted of removal of all my breast tissue (and reduced my breast cancer risk from 87% to about 3%) and tissue expanders were inserted in my chest muscles to make room for a silicone implant.
Looks kinda like this:
Tomorrow will hopefully be my final surgery in the reconstruction process. Because I have nothing else to do than write an internet list, I decided to write one 48 hours before my last surgery.
Here’s 10 honest things I want you to know about my boobs:
1) Yes, They’re Fake
I’ve been walking around with rock-hard expanders that were filled with saline, and after this last surgery, I’ll have silicone. They’re FAKE and probably not organic and I don’t give a shit.
2) However…My Nipples ARE Real
I had a “nipple sparing mastectomy”. Meaning I got to keep my nipples. Not all women choose this and keeping my nipples does increase my breast cancer risk slightly, but it was an aesthetic choice I decided to make. Call me vain, but I still wanted to feel like myself when I “looked down”. However, I will say the fake nipples that plastic surgeons are capable of constructing these days are quite remarkable and real-looking.
3) I’m OK Talking About Them (and if you’re not totally pervy, I’ll let you touch)
I’m all about education and keeping people informed. The more women talk about the struggles of genetic testing and taking preventative measures, the more lives may be saved. I don’t think it’s slutty or gross for me to talk about my boobs and let people feel them. I think it’s pretty rad that we have the choice these days to take our future in our hands and prevent diseases before they get us. I also think its awesome how natural fake boobs can look! Had my mom done this, she may be alive today. I will talk all about my boobs forever and ever. even if it will annoy you and gross you out.
Grossing you out is just an added bonus.
4) Yep, I “Lost The Sensation”
Although I did keep my nipples, they don’t have any feeling. Am I sexually frustrated because of this?
Nipples never really did anything for me to begin with and my sexual organs are still in check so I’m fine with it. I have heard rumors that the sensation comes back, but I fine with my boobs and nipples being purely decorative.
And like Angelina Jolie, I think they’re very nice decorations.
5) I Would’ve Gotten Rid of My Breasts Even If I Didn’t Have The Breast Cancer Gene
Regardless of the BRCA 1 mutation, 1 in 8 women will get breast cancer (and 7 out of 8 women will talk shit about that woman, but that’s for a different blog post…).
Having lost so many women to breast cancer in my family, living with the fear and constant MRI’s and mammograms was gonna put my on an anxiety roller coaster that I didn’t want to ride.
If my BRCA genetic test came back negative, I would’ve probably done the surgery anyway. Breasts are not an essential organ and the surgery is minor compared the grueling chemo and radiation treatments that I had to see both my parents endure. I’m not on a mission to convince people to start cutting off healthy organs, but I do want to educate and inform you that you all have your health in your hands.
You can decide what you want to do with your body cause its YOUR body. You can do what you want, you can get genetic tests and you can start taking better care of your physical and emotional self.
You can also never have to worry about sagging or wearing a bra, EVER! But that’s just me being vain again.